Beautiful Disaster

Until we meet again

The funeral ended and I rode back to the house with Tia Teresa still sobbing hysterically. We pretty much had everything almost out. She suggested I finish gathering the rest of my belongings and anything else I wanted to take with me. I grabbed everything I think I wanted at least would I could carry. I'm still just angry not to mention numb with shock. I've known it was coming but still Why did the one person I've known for my entire existence have to leave me all alone. I mean she will never see me go to prom or even graduate high school go onto collage and become a doctor, get married and have children. She never got a chance to teach me about make up and the talk about boys. The sun will never be as bright as it was before. Part of me feels like it's a bad dream. I want to close my eyes and wake up to see her again. Maybe because I'm not ready I don't think ill ever be ready to except it. I don't want to let her go, I can't. I loved her and told her every day. She would always squeeze me tight and tell me I was special never to grow up. That I had a big heart and so much love to give. And how blessed she was that God brought me into her life. But she didn't realize that I was the lucky one. She did everything for me. Gave me all I ever wanted. The long hours at work All the blood sweat and tears. So, I could have the new iPhone and fancy laptop. The best clothes and shoes. Taking me to all them soccer practices and attending all my games without sleep. Making my dance outfits even at the last-minute ones. Coming to every performance. Friday night slumber parties with my friends. She never took time out for herself. No going out with friends after work. Or dates on the weekend. I encouraged her to get out to meet people or someone. See after daddy went to prison, she cried for months they grew apart. He served three  years in the state penitentiary. She eventually let him go. He was finally released and on the day of his release he came to see mom. He told her he wanted to be a family again. He was a changed man. Made her all these promises. Mom knew all about promises from the past. She told him no more broken promises. And that it was over. They tried like so many times before. He told me before he walked out the door that he loved me and that would never change. He kissed me goodbye. And then he was gone. Thing is I didn't remember to much about my daddy. Before he went to prison, he wasn't around much as I was growing up. It was always just me and mom. And I was only thirteen and a half when he left. Mom never took me to see him in prison she said it was no place for children. The only thing that my dad and I share now is our DNA. You know the worst screwed up part about all of this is he claimed to have loved my mom. Well if he loved her so much then why didn't he come around when she got sick. Where was he when I needed him. And why didn't he at least come to the funeral. Not one phone call or letter no flowers nothing. It was a quick ride to the airport well because tia was driving. We parked in the short stay parking. She helped carry my bags inside. The traffic wasn't bad surprisingly. Normally the airport was swarming with people at least it was every time we went on vacation to Mexico. Oh, the things I can remember about them trips. But I'll say it like this it was so beautiful. Tia volunteered to stay with me until my plane started to board. It was about a half hour until the attendant got on the speaker flight UA894 is now boarding to Los Angeles, California. I took a deep breath as I got up from my seat and grabbed my bag. Tia tried to hold back tears as so did I. she gave me a hug and kiss she told me she loved me. And if I needed anything, anything at all day or night she was only a phone call away. She pulled out a bag from her purse. "here's some gorditas Mejia for your flight" I handed my boarding pass to the attendant looked back one last time at tia Teresa waved as tears flowed slowly down my face and walked to my seat. It was goodbye.