Beautiful Disaster

Joaquin

My last conversation with my love Gabriella was one ill never forget. I think at one point in all our life's we are brought together with someone who is way out of our league. And totally opposite of us. And like most people I mean in pacifically me take them for granted. Or we do stupid things and think that we are not good enough for them. I made mistakes with Giggles and many of them. More than I can count. That right now I wish I could take back so desperately. But who is to cast judgement on me right? People are so quick to stereotype and cast stones without knowing the whole story. Or even tried to walk a day in my life. I believe everyone is fighting their own battles but with different demons. Giggles once told me if you judge people that leaves no time to love them. That was the many things I loved about her. She was in fact the best thing to happen to me. See I moved from Houston to Wisconsin with my cousins because my parents had died in a car accident. And everything in Houston reminded me of them and I needed to get away. I was nineteen and shooting hoops with some of the homies in the elementary playground. When I seen I don't know had to have been about five or six girls. Fine as hell. Tall long hair and thick as fuck. Clothes that were showing all them curves. I called out a time out trying not to draw attention. I headed over to my truck to get a drink. when they all walked past by me. Her eyes met with mine she smiled and giggled walking away. I think we both knew in that few seconds we shared something, and it made us want each other in that way. I turned on my stereo bumping to some oldies that we use to listen to back home in Houston. I got back in to the game with my boys. The girls didn't go know where though. They sat on the swings watching us play. The game ended and everyone headed out going back to my boy sleepy spot for a barbeque at about five. I headed over to my truck when this young thing yelled for me to stop. I turned around as she caught up to me. She handed me a folded piece of paper told me it was from the girl with the white halter top and ripped jeans. Then she ran off. At first, I was flattered that this cutie was all about love notes. Even though I had no idea what it was. I pulled into Sleepy's and opened the paper it read

920.555.1234

Gabriella is the name, but my girls call me Giggles

Text or call but don't get to attached people wake up with different feelings everyday

I smiled and laughed like this girl trying to run some game

I got out my truck to go eat with the boys. We were reminiscing about the old days in the back yard. Doing our thing. Got late and you don't want to know what we did after dark. Days went by

So, I texted this fine thing for about a week. I baled on my boys so I could finally meet up with her. She didn't tell me to much about herself other then she was still in school and fifteen which was cool with me. I wasn't trying to date some dumb ass girl. We couldn't meet at her folk's place because they didn't like guys like me, she said. And I didn't want to take her back to my auntie house either because I didn't need my boys checking her out. So, we both agreed to meet up where I was playing ball the first time, we locked eyes with each other. I must have got the time wrong cause I was shooting hoops for about half hour before she walked on over. I looked over and she looked nervous walking alone. But her body was smoking hot. Not sure if she always dressed like that or if it was to drive me crazy. Cause it was working in her favor. She ran for the merry go round laughing. I thought okay we going to do it like that then, so I went over pushed it and climbed on. Hoping my boys didn't drive by to see me. It was moving so fast she had trouble keeping her balance. I was rock solid. I grabbed her put both my hands on her thick hips told her to hold onto my budging neck. My body never wanted something more than that. We both looked at each other and before she knew what was happening, we were in make out mode. Her lips were so hot and soft I wanted to bite them. We eventually got off and made our way to my truck. I drove us to a park on the outskirts of town. We made out in my truck. My hands made there way up into her top when she pulled me away. I was confused I thought she liked me and wanted me too. But that's when she told me she was a virgin. And didn't want me to think she was easy. As I stared at her kissing her gently, I told her not to worry id be gentle and easy. I chucked a bit though she wasn't as bad as she claimed to be in that note, she wrote me. There's me in my truck with this fine ass girl alone no one around. And she got me all hot in bothered and now she going to play hard to get and act all shy. Well she did just that. Most guys would have gone for it anyways said fuck it they don't get care. But I wasn't mad it just made me respect her even more but still wanting it. But it wasn't long until I got my way. After a party at sleepy one night we were playing around in my truck. I had a little too much to drink. And she was sending me all these messages and flirting with me hardcore. She told me to drive to that park. That she wanted to be completely alone with me. I was totally down. So, I drove us out there. She started kissing my neck and rubbing her hands in between my legs. We got in the back of my truck and right there we made love for the first time. I didn't use a condom because she didn't want me to. That night was crazy. So, for the next few days I tried to avoid her. But it just got worst she would text me like six messages in a row. I continued to ignore her. I didn't need some needy chick busting my chops now that I popped her cherry. It was about a month later I headed back to Houston to bury an uncle still not talking to her. I stayed down there for about two months trying to help sell the house. I didn't hear from her that whole time. But that didn't mean I wasn't thinking about her. She was always on my mind it was just you know that bad ass in me. Soon as the house sold, I got back on a plane to WI. My cousin Lorenzo picked me up from the airport and told me a lot has changed since I was gone. That Julian moved in on Giggles that he was hooking up with her. And she had put on some weight since I last seen her. I was heated how my boy going to fuck with my girl while I was out state. He told me Gabriella be acting like an inner raven dressing all sleezy in shit flaunting herself in front of all of them. I went to grab Lorenzo when he put his hands in the air and off the wheel, he said that he never touched her. And stories that were floating around from her girls saying that she was pregnant. And girl lied about being fifteen she was only fourteen. Dude had me sweating bullets. We got to the house. I kept my cool no disrespect up in my auntie house. Lorenzo called up the boys to tell them I was back in town and how we were going to have a cook out. Everyone showed up. Including Julian and with him was Gabriella. I couldn't help but Stare at her midsection. Mi primo was right she was a little bigger since I did see her last. We were shooting shit around the table talking about old times with Tio when Julian mentioned about an old girlfriend back in Houston. And said "my man prime over here be the slick one knocks up one girl leaves her to go back home did you fuck Ariel and knock her up too before coming back here" as he was laughing. I got up walked over toward giggles I went to reach for her arm when Julian got up and put his hand on my chest and said "no worries bro I got her I'm taking care of your duties. You trained her real good in the sack. She my little busted baby. I pushed him away trying to keep my cool when Lorenzo pulled me back and walked with me back into mi Tia house. In my room I was Sitting on the bed I did try to call Ariel to talk to her, but she was at work. I hung up when Gabriella knocked on the door as she walked in., she told me she was in fact pregnant four months to be exact and she knew before I left for Houston. I asked her if the baby was mines or who's it was. She slapped me and yelled "damn you Joaquin are you seriously asking me that. You know I've never fucked anybody you were my first. How you going to even start some shit like that with me. Do I look like that kind of girl to you" I told her I didn't know what was going on when she wasn't with me? She started crying and told me it was mines. I told her not to worry that I was going to be there for her. But that was it. It was only going to be about the baby. So not to get any ideas thinking I was going to take care of her and support her ass while was fucking with my boy. We started out doing just that too. I started going to all the doctor appointments and all the ultrasounds. Months passed she was getting bigger and bigger. And Julian dropped her and found a new cutie. And Gabriella was messing with her new favor of the week Spooky. We didn't see eye to eye a lot of the time. But it is what it is you no. I didn't care about what she was doing long as she was taking care of my baby. Before we knew it, she was in the hospital in labor. She called to tell me she was up there, but I didn't answer I was out celebrating my boy Juan's birthday. After about the eighth message Leah my Asian persuasion grabbed my phone read my messages, she yelled at me to get my ass up there to the hospital Gabriella was in labor. I was drunk as fuck and in no condition to be up there. Leah volunteered to drive me. We got up there just in time. She was dilated to eight and about ten minutes later she brought my daughter into the world. I held her for the first time, and I was in love. That's when Leah called me papa and stated" your party days were over. No more time for the boys." It was all about my baby girl. Leah left giggles and me alone to talk. She wanted to be a family to raise our daughter together. She didn't want her to have to flip flop houses. But I wasn't ready to be with her completely I mean she was with my boy. I didn't know how many playas she been with I wasn't trying to get caught with something. And after all that bullshit with her folks. Get the hell up out here with that. I was beyond pissed I mean damn for real this girl wants to be a family while her parents were still trying to get me on some busted up statutory rape charges. Because I slept with her, while she was only fourteen. And the proof they needed was now in the arms of Gabriella. Nope I wasn't about to be a sucker. and They claimed I forced her. They weren't there that night. They didn't see how anything went down. How their sweet daughter came on to me? And how she begged me to fuck her and not to use a condom. But because of the tattoos and my pressed dickies and nick Cortez. Yeah, I guess they would see it that way. Gabriella didn't help the situation either. She didn't take sides. Which surprised me. Because after watching her all these months turned out that I didn't even really know who she even was. She was through and through a daddy's girl. She is acting all innocent in front of her father. To turn around and act like a bitch well worst then that a hoe behind his back. Act like a hoe get treated like a hoe. It was just that simple. But the only thing that mattered in her life right now was our daughter. Things got worst. I had a warrant out for my arrest because I didn't appear for a court hearing. I headed back to Houston to be with Ariel. I was too young to settle down with a baby mama. To young to be a father, I loved my daughter, but I wasn't ready for all the responsibilities that came along with being a parent. Nor did I want to take the time to work shit out with Gabriella. I was already exhausted. besides Gabriella was doing find on her own. She was making it work. Her mom would watch the baby while she attended school. And her father helped at night while she worked at the diner. I was back in Houston for about five years. Making that money. only to find myself back in Wisconsin to bury a friend who was gunned down. A case of mis identity, I guess. That's the story I got from mi primo. I met up with Gabriella again. We weren't exclusive but we would hook up all the time. She was Definity not a stranger anymore. She could rock that body. She expressed her feelings to me and how she loved me and that I needed to be a father to Tatiana. I tried I made promises to babysit while she went to collage at night only to break them because my boys and the Sancho's were more important. I only maybe promises I couldn't keep. But id always come back with apologies. I wanted her to be mines but I wanted to do what I wanted to do. She always forgave me and let me back in. until that night we popped the cracker who shot my friend. We were dipping in and out on imperial lane. then I found myself at Gabriella door step banging for her to let me inside. She opened the door standing there to say she was done with me. It was over no more. I promised to change this time. And I truly meant it. But then red and blue lights pulled up. She watched as they hand cuff me and haul me in the backseat of the squad car. I was arrested and charged for driving the getaway car. I served my time. To get out and learn that Gabriella was dying from Cancer, I wanted more than anything in the world to take back everything I had done wrong to her and finally be the man she thought I could be. When I saw her, I just wanted to hold her in my arms to kiss and love her. To be a family. She turned me down. We said our peace on the phone. We loved each other. And forgave one another for our past mistakes because after all no one was perfect we both did things wrong and we did have our own flaws. I made one final promise during our conversation. one I intend to keep while I'm still breathing. and That's to take care and be a father to our daughter. Teresa called to tell me that the doctors said they gave her two more days. Truth was she didn't make it them two days she died hours after hanging up with me. I didn't attend the funeral if I would have then that would have made it real. And Id be saying goodbye for good this time I wasn't ready to let her leave I didn't want to believe she was truly gone. So instead I kept myself busy by getting the house ready. Painting Tatiana's room. And blowing up the pictures of Tatiana and Gabriella that she sent me over the years. I wanted it to feel comfortable for her. I wanted it to be roomy and cozy. A place she could think and feel like was home. I started heading out to the airport when Treasa called to tell me her plane would be coming in at four thirty. In all honesty I was never more scared in my life. I haven't seen my daughter in person in three years if not more. I have only seen pictures of what she looked like about six months ago. I have so many thoughts going on in my mind. What do I say to her? Should I just wait for her to talk to me first. I don't want to over step I mean she just lost her mom. I know what that feels like. Because when I lost my parents, I shut everyone out for a while. I'm sure she already hates me and blames me for not being there. And walking out on her and her mom. I wondered what she looked like. And if she would ever be able to feel comfortable to call me her father. As I'm staying in baggage claim waiting for my daughter I look over and I see this tall girl with midnight ruby curly hair that was bouncing in the air. Dressed in all black. playing on her phone. She was walking toward me very fast. I wanted to run to her, but I waited for her to approach me. I couldn't believe it she looked identical to Gabriella at that same age when I first laid eyes on her in that park. I knew right then in there I was in trouble. L.A. is 100 times worst then where she was coming from. I had my work cut out from me. She dropped her bags and hugged me. I squeezed her tight and kissed her forehead while she just cried in my arms. In that moment I felt like a father and I knew what I had to do. I told her not to worry that daddy was here and Ill always be here for her. she's not alone anymore. I took her bags and held her hand as we walked out of the airport.