Like A Drug (Radiodust Oneshots)

This Is What You've Done To Me

ANGST WARNING! ANGST WARNING! ANGST WARNING!

If you or someone you love has suicidal thoughts, it is best not to read this oneshot, to avoid emotional suffering.

Art above by nabila_boim

Gift/Request for Alaphix

Comment: Maybe um... You know how Alastor somewhat treats Angel like crud? Well maybe in a one shot it should be about how Angel is at his limit where his feelings are savorily hurt by Alastor and tries to commit suicide and it doesn't work, so there for he was put into a hospital for recovery and it's also where Alastor goes and apologizes for everything he's done to Angel? Also if you wanna do this one, make sure to put an ANGST warning at the beginning of the chapter

Angel was so sick of this. He gripped the rope in his hands, wrapping it tight around his neck. It would be over quickly. Just one tug, that was all it would take. One tug. That's all. How dare Alastor treat him like he did. How dare he. It wasn't fair. It just wasn't fair.

He jumped, the rope pulling taunt around his neck, his airways blocking. He could hear someone screaming, but he didn't care. It would all be over soon.

Angel woke up in a bed, still very much alive. A man was looking down at him. Charlie and Vaggie were watching him nervously, as if worried for his safety. Including Vaggie. Vaggie, of all people!

"You tried to kill yourself," the man said, gently wrapping bandages around his neck. "We need to keep you here for recovery, to make sure attempts like this don't happen again." Angel tossed to one side, ignoring the doctor. He didn't want to be here anymore. What was the point?

Charlie and Vaggie stayed for hours, both talking quietly to each other and watching Angel carefully. When he fell asleep and woke up again, they were gone. Alastor was in their place, his normal grin gone, now replaced with a worried, guilty look.

"What do you want?" Angel snapped. "Haven't you done enough to me?!"

"Angel Dust, I am so, so sorry," Alastor said, sitting beside him on the bed. "I thought you knew I was joking."

"Joking? JOKING!" Angel shrieked, jumping up. "You call treating someone like shit joking! What is wrong with you? You don't know how much you've hurt me!"

"Yes, I do," Alastor said. "I don't usually apologise. I think it's worthless. But I don't want to hurt you. You don't deserve it, Angel Dust." He pulled Angel close, and Angel couldn't bring himself to push him away. "I've always treated you horribly, and I wish I hadn't. I never want to hurt you, believe me, I don't. I promise. I don't..."

Just a second before their lips touched, Angel woke up with a jolt, sweating. "Are you okay?" Alastor asked, pulling his beau closer. "You looked like you were having a bad dream."

"I was," Angel said, snuggling closer. "But it's over now."