Dumb cop, liar cop (Oumota)

The trouble lives next door

"Kirumi wouldn't have done it!" Kaito said.

"That's cute, but you're a cop, not a defense attorney. Shut up and stop interfering with our job," Kokichi said.

"I am doing my job!"

"Kaito, do you have any evidence that Kirumi isn't the culprit?" Shuichi asked.

"Kirumi wasn't working. She took a day off on the day of the murder!"

"Exactly. She was missing during that time with no alibi. How suspicious," Kokichi said, "She probably planned to take the day off to kill Ryouma Hoshi."

"She was taking care of sick relatives, you *sshole!"

"That was a lie, of course."

"How are you so sure she's lying? She isn't a dishonest piece of crap like you!"

"Haha, so just because I'm a liar, everyone else is incapable of lying?"

The two bickered all the way to the interrogation room. Kaito, Kokichi, and Shuichi finally sat down before Kirumi with Shuichi sitting in the middle into order to prevent any further conflict.

"Soooo, Kirumi, you're free to go! We've confirmed that you're not the culprit!"

"Really?" Kirumi said, smiling, "Then-"

"That was a lie!" Kokichi said devilishly, "You looked so relieved just now! I wonder why."

"Don't mind him, Kirumi, this guy lies all the time," Kaito tried to explain to Kirumi. Shuichi sighed in defeat. Why did he have to be assigned to work with these two?

"So, Miss Kirumi," Shuichi said, trying to ask a productive question, "Where were you last night?"

"I was taking care of a sick relative."

"She already told me that! Why are you asking her again?"

Shuichi was at the last straw. He decided to cut to the chase. "Kirumi, we have evidence that you killed Ryouma Hoshi. A fragment of your glove was found in the security room."

"What? I have been in the security room before to clean. That fragment can't condemn me!"

"Sigh~ Stop lying, Kirumi," Kokichi said, "You said you were taking care of a sick relative, was it?"

"Yes. It was my cousin. She had bronchitis."

"Then you should know that she's dead."

"WHAT?" Kirumi exclaimed loudly.

"...uh, that's awkward," Kokichi said, "I was lying. If you really met her last night, you should know that."

Kirumi started shaking angrily. Shuichi continued, "I searched up your family's address. Your cousin lives outside of the city. If you were really taking care of her, you shouldn't have made it back in time in the morning to discover the body. You were probably there to clean up the evidence. Just confess. It's clear to us that you did it."

Kaito couldn't believe his ears. "T-there's got to be some mistake!" he exclaimed loudly, though in his mind he already knew the truth. 

"Fine, I did it," said the maid.

"Why?" Kaito said, "Kirumi..."

"Ryouma Hoshi may have been a good tennis player, but he is a ruined person," the maid said with a cold stare, "He had ties to the mafia that he refused to sever. Leaving such a famous person with such dangerous criminal ties alive was harmful to the country at large."

"Cool motive, but you're still a murderer," Kokichi said, "and murderers like you go to prison."

Before he could register what he was doing with his mind, Kaito slapped Kokichi across the face. "ENOUGH! WHY DO YOU HAVE TO SPEAK TO OTHERS LIKE THAT?"

Kirumi saw the opportunity in front of her eyes. Seeing the three detectives were distracted, she bolted to the door. Thankfully, a friendly green-haired giant was passing by the room with his afternoon snack.

"Gonta!" Kokichi yelled, "Catch her!"

Gonta reflexively followed Kokichi's orders, picking up Kirumi off the ground, who kicked and screamed. A bug-themed cupcake dropped onto the ground.

"Let me go!" She yelled, "I was only doing following my duty to the people around the world! That man was better off dead!"

She glared at Kaito with a deadly menace. "I thought you would understand of all people."

At that moment the person Kaito least expected to stand up for him spoke.

"That's a lie!" Kokichi said, "You had recognized that Kaito was more sympathetic and stupid ever since he interviewed you. You've been manipulating him to give yourself a chance to escape. You know what? I hate selfish liars like you."

Kaito was shocked by Kokichi's comment. They sounded genuine. Despite all of his lying, it seemed like the short detective was actually working his hardest to find the culprit. He used his fluency in lies to corner the culprit...

"Kokichi, what should Gonta do?" Gonta said, awkwardly carrying Kirumi.

"Throw her into a jail cell for now. She'll go to trial for her crime."

...

After the tiring day at work, Kaito moved into his new apartment in Danganronpa city. It was on the third floor of a run-down complex. He didn't really care how scrappy it was; it just needed to be a place to sleep. After moving his suitcases into the room, he felt too lazy to start unpacking. He decided to greet all of his new neighbors; it was good to get along with others.

He rang the door of the first apartment to the left of him. A feeling of dread hit him when a familiar voice drawled.

"Geez... who in the world is looking for me?"

Kaito stood there paralyzed in disdain and frustration when he saw the person he least wanted to see at this time: the lying detective Kokichi.

"Kaito?" Kokichi looked both angry and confused, "What are you doing here and how did you find this place?!"

"I... just moved in next door," Kaito said, gritting his teeth.

"What-" Kokichi seemed unreasonably upset, "Don't bother me. I don't want to talk to you outside of work."

"Huh?" Kaito said, getting angry as well. It wasn't that he wanted to talk to Kokichi, but how could he say something like that! "Why the hell are you being so rude? I was just here to say hello."

"Well, you've said hello," Kokichi said sarcastically, "now bye."

Before Kokichi could slam the door shut, Kaito pushed it open again. Kokichi tried to shove the door back, but he was no match for Kaito's brute strength. He glared at Kaito, his purple eyes flashing furiously, yet for the first time since they've met, Kokichi looked uncertain and startled. Interesting. Maybe at this time, he could get a bit of honesty out of the little liar.

"Why do you have to treat everyone so distrustfully! I know that Kirumi did something wrong, but you didn't need to be so harsh!"

"Ha! You're still worried about her? You're so unprofessional." Kokichi wasn't smirking or smiling. A dark shadow fell across his face. "If she really cared about Ryouma Hoshi, she wouldn't have killed him."

"What?" Kaito said, becoming angrier.

For a moment, Kokichi began to tremble. An inaudible chain of sounds arose from his throat, like words he buried before they reached his tongue. Then he let out a small chuckle.

"Believe what you want. You think everything I say is a lie anyway."

Kaito walked away back to his apartment, confused. Either it was his imagination, or Kokichi seemed like he was trying not to cry.