Alone (hyungwonho)

19.

They put me in an ambulance. They held me down as they started driving away from the house. One of the paramedics asked me questions, but all I could hear, was Hoseok's last words.

Soon, I was in hospital, being wheeled to a room. Doctors rushed in, checking my eyes with a light. I didn't want to look at it, but they held my head in place.

"What's the situation?" A lady asked.

"Friends found him in an abandoned house. He was yelling and screaming to no one, then he stopped moving and responding to speaking. It's unknown if he can even hear us or understand us." A nurse explained.

I wanted to say, I can hear you, but I couldn't.

"Seems like a psychosis. He must have heard or seen someone." The lady said. "Have the guardians been informed?"
"Yes, his friends called them."

"Are they soon here?"

"Yes, they'll be here probably soon."

"Alright, we'll take him to a room."

I stared at the doctor, who pushed the wheelchair. She looked at me from time to time, but stayed quiet. She pushed me into a room, where nurses put me on a bed. Then they left, leaving me alone with the doctor.

"Mr, Chae?" She asked as she sat down next to the bed. "Can you hear my voice?"

I nodded. I could hear her.

"Good, do you know where you are?"

"In hospital."

"That's right." She nodded. "Do you know why?"

"He left me." I mumbled.

That made her tilt her head slightly. "Who?"

"Hoseok left me, but I can hear him."

"Ah, alright." She nodded.

She then stood up and took a folder. "So, Hyungwon... do you know what happened tonight?"

"I... was at my friends place."

"Then?"

"I left, because he told me to."

"This Hoseok told you?"

"Yes, but I can't talk about him. He said I can't."

The doctor sighed, opening the folder in her hands. "What happened after you left your friend's place?"

"I went to the house. He was there and we talked."

"Did something else happen?"

I shook my head. "I can't tell."

"Alright... just, rest here for a minute. I'll be right back." She smiled and left the room.

In the lobby, Kihyun, Minhyuk, Hyunwoo, Jooheon and Changkyun were sitting and waiting. They were worried, because it had seemed bad.

"Do you guys think he's sick?" Jooheon asked.

"We can't say anything yet. We'll just have to wait for the doctors to tell us." Hyunwoo said.

After that, no one said anything. They just sat there, waiting.

After about ten minutes, Hyungwon's parents ran into the lobby. Hyungwon's mother hurried to the desk, asking information, while Hyungwon's father walked up to the boys.

"What exactly happened?" He asked them.

"He got mad at us and left my house." Jooheon said.

"We decided to follow him to apologize, but we found him in an abandoned house, talking to himself." Kihyun explained.

"To himself?"

"Yeah, then he started yelling and screaming... we tried to talk to him, but it was like he couldn't hear us. He went blank and that's when we decided it was best to call an ambulance..." Hyunwoo said.

Hyungwon's father sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. Then Hyungwon's mother ran to them.

"They said we can't go see him yet. They're not sure what's wrong." She cried out.

"These boys just told me he was talking to himself. He'd gone mad."

"Darling, no. Don't say that." Hyungwon's mother grabbed her husbands hand. "He has to be okay..."

"We'll see soon. I guess we have no choise but to wait."

They sat down and the silence continued.

"Hoseok? Where are you now?" I asked carefully, scared that he might yell at me. 

"They're going to abandon you."

"Hoseok?"

"Here. Don't listen to the bad voices, Hyungwon. They want you to feel bad." I heard his voice tell me.

"But they're talking non-stop."

"I know, but you have to focus."

"Why did you leave? Come back..."

"I can't."

"Why?"

The door opened and the doctor walked in. She settled down next to me.

"Now, we've checked your health... I have to ask you some questions and I hope you can answer them honestly."

I nodded.

"This Hoseok... when did you talk to him first?"

"I think it was few weeks ago." I said. "I'm not sure."

"Have you noticed anything odd about him?"

"Like what?"

"Like his talking, personality..."

"He's usually really nice, but sometimes he says hurtful things."

She hummed and wrote something down on a notebook. "What were those things?"

"He said that I'm pitiful. He doesn't like my smile and he hates it when I cry. But he said that he critizises me, because real friends do that." I said.

"Okay. Anything else you found odd about him?"

I started thinking. "Well... He always had same clothes... and he said he doesn't feel anything."

"Do you have any idea who he is?" She asked, watching me closely.

"He's... I don't know... I'm not sure."

"Hyungwon, answer honestly... do you hear talking or other noises?"

I didn't want to answer. Hoseok would be sad if I did.

"It's very important for you to answer honestly." The doctor repeated.

"I do. Hoseok just talked to me... and there's two other voices. They're mean."

She nodded, writing down. "What do they say?"

"One said they want to kill me... and they say that everyone will abandon me or hurt me."

"Have you been close with your friends recently?" She asked, putting her pen away.

"No. Hoseok said I can't be with them."

"Did he explain why?"

"He said they will hurt me in the end."

"Alright. We've almost figured things out. Do you feel tired?"

I nodded. "My head is fuzzy."

"Rest for now, your parents will later visit you." She said and stood up.

I looked as she walked to the door. "Doctor?"

"Yes?" She turned to look.

"What is wrong with me?"

I could see pity in her eyes. It seemed like she didn't want to tell me. "Are you sure you want to hear it now?"

"Yes."

"We think... or actually we're pretty certain you have schizophrenia, Hyungwon."

Schizophrenia...? Really? Have I really gone mad?