Alone (hyungwonho)

24.

I looked at Hoseok, then outside the train. They really were there. I felt panic grow inside me. Changkyun looked like he was about to cry. I saw Jooheon yell something. I moved closer to the window, so I could hear him.

"Open the window!!!" He yelled.

Without thinking, I opened it. The train had started moving, but it was still slow. I looked at them.

"Hyungwon! Where are you going!?" Changkyun asked, while jogging along the train.

"Don't worry guys! I'm not mad at you!" I yelled at them.

"Don't go!" Jooheon screamed.

"I have to!" I replied, taking a look at Hoseok. "I'm going with him! Hoseok will take good care of me!"

"But he's not real! Hyungwon! He's not real!!!" 

I smiled, looking at their running feet. The train was speeding up. "I know! I know,  but he's real to me! And you know what!? I love him!!!"

"Hyungwon!!! Please! Do you have a phone!?" Changkyun yelled.

They had to run now, to keep up with the train. 

"No! But I don't need one! I will be fine!"

"No! You don't understand!"

"I do! I understand everything now! I know what I want! I know what I'm doing!" 

Changkyun started crying. He looked at me, as the train sped up even more.

"Please don't go! Hyungwon, we're friends! I don't want you to go!" Changkyun screamed.

I nodded. "I know, but this is something I have to do!" I yelled. "I can't live without Hoseok! I need him! I love you guys, but I love him even more!"

"Can't we all get along!? Maybe you could introduce us to him!?" Jooheon yelled. "This doesn't have to end like this!"

"I'm sorry! Tell everyone I love them! I hope we'll meet again!"

"No! Please! Stop the train! Someone!" Changkyun screamed as he ran.

They couldn't keep up anymore.

"Hyungwon! What about your parents!?" Jooheon yelled.

"Tell them I love them! Don't come looking for me! I will be okay! I have everything I need, right by my side!"

"NO! COME BACK! WE NEED YOU!" Changkyun sobbed.

They couldn't ran anymore. The train was going too fast. I smiled at them. I put my hand out of the window and waved. 

This was the way, it was supposed to go. I was with the one I love... I was safe with him. I turned to look at Hoseok. He was smiling. This smile, was genuine. 

"You did the right thing, Hyungwon." Hoseok whispered to me.

I smiled too. His eyes pulled me in, in a way that made me sigh. He was all I wanted. All I needed. I was safe, happy...

I knew that I was messed up, but it was fine. Maybe I wanted to be like that. There was some sort of security, knowing my brain was twisted. It meant that I could be myself in peace.

The best part was that Hoseok was the same. Maybe I made him like that, because deep in my thoughts I knew I was sick. I always knew I was different. Now I didn't have to hide it anymore.

"Hoseok, I really do love you."

He looked at me, eyes glowing. The corners of his lips turned up, as he grabbed my hand gently.

"I love you too, Hyungwon." He said. "Now, we can always be together... " 

"We have the opportunity to do everything, we've ever wanted. We're free." He smiled. "We love each other, so we are unstoppable, Hyungwon. We have everything."

Him saying those words, all uncertainty, anxiety and fear disappeared in a blink of an eye. The replacement was good feelings. At least one good feeling... Love.

I know, that from now on I will always be by myself, but I will never be alone...