Infinite Hope

Ch.7 "Kiss And tell"

Jason Smith to the right. hottie right? ;')

(CHAPTER SEVEN)

What is embarrassment? In general, embarrassment is an emotional response to an innocent mistake. The major reason that some of us are embarrassment is that we’ve been conditioned to set unrealistically high expectations for ourselve.

Jason gazed at me "Were you t-trying to kiss me?" I froze. My face was filled with the warm glow of embarrassment preventing me from talking, You can't even imagine it. 

"A-ah look Beth.." He mumbled, I realized that my face was still close to his so I backed down and said "Ah I'm such an idiot, Excuse me I thought all this in the wrong way" I was looking at the ground, Too confounded to look at his face. Things aren’t often what they appear to be at first blush. But embarrassment is.

"I don't how to say this, I mean I know this all looks like what you're thinking. But we're just friends I hang with my female friends like this all the time. Please don't get upset" Jason confirmed with his sweet hushed voice. That I can not resist.

"it's okay just forget it, You don't need to acknowledge" I said still not lifting my head to face him. 

Ugh they probably going to have me up on a poster by now. Warning: this girl is emotionally unstable. Do not get too friendly with her. 

"Beth, You're really a great gi-" I cutted jason off by saying "Jason! Please just forget. We should head back It's late" I got up and left. Running. Sobbing. I thought he liked me, I just thought since we share the same thoughts there would be chemistry. Or I don't know was it early? Does he still need time? He actually said we're friends. Ugh I don't know I'm so confused I just need my bed.

Why must this be so mortifying? Oh, that's right. Because its my life.

I rushed back to my dorm and when I got in I saw Sam on her bed with a guy? I guess I just interrupted their 'intercourse' But I didn't care I didn't say anything I just jumped right on my bed. 

And they didn't seem to notice untill Sam suddenly stopped and asked "Hey beth are you okay?" 

"No I'm far from okay" I sobbed under my pillow.  

The guy who's in the bed with Sam said "Come on baby, why did you stopped?" and I think I heard him trying to kiss her and continue. "Shut up you horny pig and get out" Sam nearly yelled at him. He took off and whispered "Bitch" But she didn't seem to give a damn.

She came to me and patted my back and said "Heyy, What happened?" She sounds worried.

"Nothing happened, But thank you for your concern" I told her. Totally lying.

"I don't buy it. Something is on and you're going to tell me" She said trying to help get my face of the pillow which is padded with mascara. 

I gave in and told her "Jason and I were at the park just sitting, talking and looking at the stars. And I just thought that we both have the same affection and all, So all of the sudden I turned my face to kiss him and he backed away" I closed my eyes waiting for her reaction. 

"Oh my god, This is so hilarious I literally can't laugh" Sam joked as usual. I pushed her "Stop I was so embarrassed and I was embarrassed of my embarrassment" I covered my face with my hands and whimpered loudly. Earnestly what I had just experienced made me feel Exposed. Obvious. Transparent. Like my thoughts were flashing before his eyes. 

"Girl don't get all caught up. Its FINE you were just too early" Then she continued "You don't know Jason as much as I do, He doesn't fall for a girl that easily" Sam looked at me like I'm a moron.

"But you don't understand! We connected really well!" I almost shouted. 

"Relax. If you really like him just wait a little bit of time. I promise he'll come begging to dip his fries on your shake" Sam smiled in a strange way. 

"Dip his what on my what?" I said laughing. She's being really nice to me so far. What changed?

"Can't tell, You're too pure and blameless" Sam said with a straight face I gasped "And boring" Sam said rolling her eyes. 

"Are you kidding? I'm awesome without 'me' it's just gonna be 'aweso'" I said with boasting.

"Yeah okay whatever you say" Sam says sarcastically. Then asks "Feeling any better now?" 

"Yeah thank you" I gave her a small but warm smile. She smiled back and said "Yeah see? We're now friends and we get along sometimes. "Yeah the privilege of friendship to talk nonsense, and to have her nonsense respected" I said and laughed. I think this is the start of a lovely friendship.

I am prepared for the worst, but hope for the best.

"Uhm thanks?" Sam said. Then she got up and went to the bathroom. I rested my head at the pillow and sighed. How am I gonna keep my life going after this incidence.

I heared Sam yells from the bathroom "Hey there's this party tomorrow night, How about you come clear your mind and have fun from all this shit?" 

"Yeah why not. I think I'm in need for a night off" I hope this will help me clear things out.

I mean what could possibly happen?