There Are Much Worse Games To Play

Chapter 4: Mutt mode

[Author's note] Hi! Sorry, I haven't been writing lately, I've had a LOT of school work. Please forgive me😅. I hope you understand. :)

I hold his hand tight. A bit too tight, because I can see Peeta's fingers getting purple. I loosen my grip a bit, because I don't want him to lose any more limbs than he already has. Then Isabel and Charlie come in. They're surprised, seeing us like this. Then it's my turn to be surprised, because I suddenly feel a yank at my arm. Peeta. He seems angry. Oh no. This can only mean one thing. He's in mutt mode again.

I make myself stand and take the kids into the bathroom, double checking if the door is locked. They're confused. They don't know about this mutt mode. At least, I think- no, I hope they don't know. 

I tell them to not make any loud noises and to stay here. I unlock the door, but before I can open it, someone else does, from the outside. I'm really confused, because it can't be Peeta, with his gunshot wound that almost killed him, but it is. 

When he opens the door, his eyes meet mine. I can see a mix of anger, fear, and confusion in his now black eyes. I try to calm him down, but that only seems to make him more distant.  I look at Isabel and Charlie, who are huddled because they're scared and also confused. When I look at Peeta, it's like I lit a fuse for a bomb. And the bomb, aka Peeta, explodes.

He storms past me into the bathroom, aiming for the kids. I'm screaming until it feels like my lungs are on fire. He grabs Charlie by his feet and holds him upside down.

I scream in his face, begging for him to come back. But that just seems to make him fade away more.

Finally, it's Isabel who speaks up. "Daddy, is that you?" She says. "If it is, if you can hear me, please listen to me. I don't know why you're acting like this, and I don't know if mummy knows, but you're scaring her. So please, put Charlie down and come back to us, to your family." It's like she's grown 20 years in just 5 minutes, because somehow she's done it. She's brought Peeta back to reality. He's very confused, facing the fact that he's holding his own son by his ankle.

I think I knocked myself unconscious by screaming my head off, because the next thing I know, I'm in bed in Peeta's arms. At the sight of him, I jump up. I make a sound between the sound of mumbling and choking. "Kids," it's supposed to sound like. "Yeah, I put them in bed." Peeta says. Feel relieved, Katniss. Feel relieved. But the fact is, I don't. I feel a pang of guilt, and I don't know why. I let it go and climb in bed again. Into the arms I feel the safest in. And that will never change.