One Life For Another

15

Jayden took care of me for over a week and then he left me. He said that he had a lot of stuff to do and that he didn't want to bother me any longer. I told him that he didn't bother me at all, but he didn't want to listen to it. He gave me a last kiss and ran off to a place I don't know. Leaving me to sink to my knees, I wanted him to take me with him. I have been enjoying the past week so much, but now I feel lonely. We have practically only be hanging around in the house and garden, because I didn't feel really well. We cuddled a lot and that made me feel loved. But now his warmth had left me and I started to shiver again. 

Hailey comes in to my room with worry on her face. I look up at her from underneath my blanket. "Don't tell me you are getting sick again", Hailey voice sounds soft. "I am not getting sick", I say, "I am only in my bed because the weather is so cold." "You are right", Hailey says, "Snow will some soon." I nod, "So I am staying here because I need the warmth." Hailey smiles and sits down next to me. "May I join you?", She asks. "Ofcourse", I smile wide. Hailey slides under the blanket, next to me. I side hug her and lay my head on her chest. "Thanks for being here for me", I mumble. Hailey strokes my hair, "You don't need to thank me. I felt like taking care of you since the first day I met you. And I am here, as a mom for you." "You are indeed like the mom I used to miss. And Sam is being like a real and good dad to me. And Lila like a younger sister ofcourse." "Yes", Hailey smiles, "But my little girl needs her superhero to be all happy." "You are right Hailey, I indeed need him. But maybe he can't give me what I need now." "It will all be okay. Just keep your head up and give him a lot of love." I nod and closes my eyes. "Lilly?" "Yes?" "Would you like it of there is going to be another kid running around in the house?" I open my eyes and look at Hailey. "Are you pregnant?" "I don't know yet, but I hope so. Sam and me tried again, but last time we failed. So we are hoping that this time I will get pregnant." "I hope so too. I would love to see another child of you grow up, being loved by Sam and you." Hailey smiles, "this kid won't know anything of the past of his parents and sister." "Are you going to make him or her call me sister? Like telling the baby that I am family? Don't you think it will be disappointed if it finds out that I am not a real sister?" "Don't question yourself things like this yet, it will only mess with your head. And it not even sure yet, because I don't know if I am actually pregnant." I nod, "I hope so!" "I know and I hope it too. Do you know what else I hope?" "No?" "That one day you will set a child on to this world. Doesn't matter if it is with Jayden or with someone else. You just need to love the person the most out of all humans on the earth." "I can love no one more than my Jayden. Even tho I am still sad about the whole situation." "The sadness will go away sooner or later. It will make place for love and happiness." "Are you sure?" "Yes Lilly, you won't keep a sad feeling forever and please promise me to look at the bright side of life. Don't overthink or get depressed because neither of that is going to work." I nod, "I will try okay?" "No you have to promise me that you will." "Okay I promise", I smile at her, knowing that I can't really make myself stop overthinking. I can never control my mind, even if I would try to. My past would always hunt me down in my mind, messing it up and making me feel sick. Can I ever overcome this? Maybe not on my own, but help can have a good influence on changing it. "I am glad that you will try to", Hailey smiles sweetly. I nod and close my eyes. "Are you tired?", Hailey asks. "No", my voice is soft, "I just like to lay like this." "Shall we go do something? Together?" "What do you want to do?" "We can visit your mother?" My eyes shoot full of tears as soon as I hear her say mother. "I don't know." "I don't want to push you to do it, but maybe it is better to visit her. That way you can tell her all your worries and she will listen to you." I hesitate but end up nodding. "Lets do it", I say. "You know which cemetery right?" I nod again, "But we have to cross The Angels of the Night property." "That is no problem sweetie, we are on their side and they know who we are." "You are right", I smile softly. Hailey strokes my hair once and whispers, "You can do this." I let go of her and get out of bed. My clothes are all wrinkled and covered in sweat. "Change in to clean clothes, will you?" I nod and walk in to my walk-in-closet. I put on one of my favorite sweaters, one that Jayden got me a while ago. I also put my favorite pants and sneakers on. I walk back in to my room and see Hailey looking at the pictures on my wall. I hung them there last week, together with Jayden. "How did you get those pictures?" "We used the printer downstairs." "Oh, I was already thinking of that." I smile and look at the picture to. They cover the whole wall from the top left corner till the right bottom corner and there is not more than half a cm left between them. Jayden had carried me on his shoulders so we could reach the top of the wall, making me feel like I was on top of the world. Which I actually was because Jayden is my world. "I like all of the picture Lil", Hailey's voice is more a whisper, "Some of them are really old pictures, am I right?" "Yes, there are pictures from when I was a baby, pictures with my mom, sister and most of all pictures from when I just met Jayden." "Can you tell me what happend again?" "I can, but lets do that during the car ride okay?" "Okay we will", Hailey grabs my hand and pulls me to the hallway. "We will go eat somewhere after we visited your mother okay?" "Thanks", I say, "I would love to." Hailey lets go of my hand and I immediately grab my jacket. I put it on, put my shoes on too and stick my hands into the pockets of my jacket. My left hands touch a folded piece of paper, making me question what it is. I pull it out of my pocket and open it. My eyes travel over the paper. A note from Jayden.