One Life For Another

28

"That all sounds like you had a horrible time" Hailey says, "Time that you have spended fighting to get the things you didn't have." "There were a lot of moments that I felt like I was missing things like love, peace and family. But Joël gave me the love I had missed and the last year he has also given me the peace that I needed the most. I will never have my family back and I am fine with that. I have Joël, you and Sam and I am happy with that." "I am glad that are happy with what you have right now. I understand that you have had moments in your life in which you would rather have give up then moving on." 'I have indeed had those but I always had my friends with me to pull me out of that state. They have been taking care of me if I was their most precious thing in life." "I am glad that they were there for you. I would feel horrible if you told me that you were left on your own. Written up to suffer and die." I smile at Hailey, "It is all fine now. How have you been?" "Ah, at first I was really sad and mad about me and Sam splitting up. Then Lila started to miss her dad and it made me miss him too. I called him and apologized. He quickly gave in and told me that we could move in with him and Jayden. Jayden crashed at his place from time to time and started staying when I was one month into my second relationship with Sam." "I feel bad for him." "Me too, but Lil can you promise me that you will never break up with Joël and take Jayden as boyfriend again?" "I promise." "Jayden might want you, but I don't think that it will be a good idea." "I don't want it either, I love Joël so much that I can't even break up with him. The idea makes my head spin." "Stay loyal to him then." I nod, "He saved my life, while I didn't deserve it." "What makes you think that you didn't deserve it?" "I haven't done the best things in life..." "Lilly you never killed people before they tried to kill you, so you deserve a life." I nod slowly, "Okay if you say so." "I am speaking the truth Lil. If there is someone who deserves it, it is you." "Why Hailey?" "You have always been so loving and caring." "I was yes, but remember that I have been a cold hearted killer last year." "I know, I was that too. But you changed again. Now I see a sweet, loving and caring girl. Someone who treats her loved ones better then herself." I nod. "Remember to love yourself too." "I will, thanks for reminding me." Hailey smiles, "So how do you picture your future?" "I picture my future with Joël. I want to have a happy family with him." "And for now? The next few years?" "I hope that Joël and me can stay here for now." "As long as you two want. I even won't mind if you get your first child here or when you stay here while you are married." I smile at her, "You are amazing Hailey." "Ah, I just love you." "I love you too." "Do you want to be pregnant soon?" "No, my life is still a bit of a mess. That won't be good for a child." "Yes that would be bad Lil." "I want my baby to grow up in a peaceful family, not one who needs to keep hiding from a gang." "Why exactly are you hiding from the gang?" "We don't want to be involved again and it might be better for them to not know where we are. Maybe the once will attack us or anything like that." "Sam and Me protect you no matter what. And Joël too ofcourse. He is your boyfriend, your loved one, so we care about him too." "Thanks Hailey, that really means a lot to me." Hailey smiles and I stroke Joël's hair. He is deep asleep with his head on my chest, sending a sick warmth onto my chest. "He is really sick, isn't he?" Hailey asks. I nod, "His forehead is really warm. I am glad that he is asleep." "Yes understandable." "Mhm, else he would be really whiny." "Ah, that can be really annoying." I nod and start to stroke Joël's back. Suddenly Jayden come walking in. "Hey" He says, "Lil can I ask you a question?" I look at him and nod. "Can we go to the abandon building one last time?" "Which one?" "The one we went to on the first day in the gang." "Well, I will only go if Joël and Hailey go with us." Jayden sighs, "Sure, we will take both of them with us." I smile, "Okay let me know when you want to go." Jayden nods and walks away again. "Good choice Lilly" Hailey says. "What was a good choice?" I say. "That you said that you are only going with him if your boyfriend and  me can join too." "I just feel safer when I have you and Joël with me." I nod softly, "I am just scared that he would do something to me." Hailey hums softly, "I wouldn't have let you go on your own anyways." "I am happy that you care so much about me." "It is my mother instinct. I care about you as a mother would do for a daughter. And I really see you like a daughter, even tho we don't even have a big age difference. I really want to give you the motherly love you need." "But I don't deserve that" I say with a pout. "You do Lil. You really do." I feel my eyes fill with tears as so much love makes me emotional. "Lil how is your self love?" "I care about other more then I do about myself. I want others to be fine even if it makes me feel horrible." "It is good to care for others but you are not supposed to let yourself feel horrible to make other feel good.  You need to take care of yourself too. Don't let yourself go to waste dear." I nod, "I will take good care of myself too." "That is good Lil. Can you make me a promise by the way?" I hum, "Depends on what it is." "Well it may sound a bit childish, but can you promise that as long as you live here, you will tell me where you are when you are all alone?" I chuckle softly, "Mhm I will, but why?" "Because I have a feeling that Jayden will take every chance to get you or do something to you." My eyes widen, "Do you think he will try to get me to sleep with him?" "There is a high chance he will, but don't worry. I talked about it to Sam and we will keep an eye on him and where ever he goes." "Thank you Hailey. I think Joël will do that too." "Ofcourse he will, you are his world. There is something wrong if he doesn't want to protect you from Jayden." "Hm, he already promised to keep me away from Jayden as much as possible." "Good" Hailey says and then we both fall silent.