There was a time, seems like not too long ago.
There was someone by my side, making sure that I was never alone.
She cared. She really did.
But I, I instead was scared.
It's not that I didn't care, but I acted like I didn't.
Yet, she was always there.
Damn she was a beaut. She really was.
Yes physically, but that's not what I mean.
Her soul; it overthrew me.
When I looked into her eyes; that's when I realized just how weak I truly was.
I was intimidated, for the first time.
I was ashamed of who I was.
I couldn't look at myself in the mirror, I was a man who was barely getting by.
Yet, she didn't mind.
I tried to change; I tried to be a better man but no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't climb.
I had never been so confident yet so self conscious.
What the hell did she even do to me?
I had friends, I had lovers, I had MY place in society.
Yet in that midst, I had never yearned for someone so silently.
No, not until her.
Not until she came.
With her soul so pure and spirit of flame.
I knew I couldn't have her, even as she walked by my side.
Even as she glanced at me with one of those hypnotic smiles.
Even if we walked a thousand miles,
I just knew I could never call her mine.
And somehow, I didn't mind.
But I still dont understand what caused me to push her away.
To treat her the way I did, just so I could walk my path astray.
Was I that afraid?
Was I that pathetic?
How could I look her in those beautiful eyes and say I never cared?
Why was I not sympathetic?
She deserved better.
Is that why I did it?
Is that why I cut her loose?
Or is all this just another excuse?
Well, it seems like not too long ago she was right here.
Always making sure I was never alone.
And now that she's not here, I had never felt so alone.
