*still your p.o.v.*
After last night I did some meditating and praying and I got up to go to church with Issa. I put on a long black maxi dress, a white blazer, white flats, white accessories, lipstick,pinned my hair up cause it was still slightly curly and added blue and white bow. I smiled I slightly was feeling like a little church girl getting ready with her mamma. I sprayed perfumed, changed my case, grabbed my bag and headed out cause Issa wanted me to meet him at iHop before church.
When we walked into the chapel, I saw Ms T, a lady that used to watch me and take care of me when my momma went away☹😪😢. She stopped talking to me because I told her I was moving and somehow she found out that I became a stripper. It felt like the whole church even the pastor knew about me cause they all was just staring me down. After church I went up to Ms T and tried to hug her but she backed away giving me side eye and saying that she doesn't having anything to do with people like me! Well Issa's mom attends that church but she went to visit her brother and would meet us back at the house later. I then heard an unknown woman TRY to whisper, "Bet (Issa's mom's named) doesn't even kno that Issa is dating her. I just up left at that, you would think cause they are so called CHRISTIANS that they would treat you different than others, but no they act worse.
The car ride to Issa's moms house was silent. When we pulled up she opened the door and gave me the same glare that the people at the church gave me. I just shook it off and went into the kitchen, but she shooed me out. At this point I just wanted my coffee that I was promised and wanted to go cuddle up in my bed with my pillow pet!
I could hear their convo. She was basically telling him that she heard that I am a stripper and that he needs to stay away from me. He told her he could do whatever he wanted and that she needed to be a good Christian and stop being a good hypocrite. She then told him to f*** outta there and to never bring the SKANK(referring to YN) back in her house...by that time I had walked out the house and slammed the door and started walking to where ever I was going. I felt so unwanted, low down, useless, stupid, and ashamed of myself. I heard a car slow down next to me and I started to walk faster, but when the person called out my name I realized it was Issa and got in. (p.s. I dropped my car back at my house and Issa took me to the church so I had no other choice, but to get in even if I didn't want to). The tension in the air was so thick I started to breathe hard, I had to put the window down, I stuck my head out like the pig that cried wweeeeee all the way home. When he pulled up to my condo and hopped out before he got a chance to turn off the engine, I dnt even kno y he would , 1. He ain't coming in and 2. Ion wanna tlk to him or anybody for that matter. He pulled on my arm anyway and kissed me before I could do or say anything. I absolutely did NOT kiss back, but pulled away.
ISSA- U KNO I PUT MY MOM IN HER PLACE..
ME- AND SO WHAT I STILL FEEL LIKE SH*T AND THOSE THINGS THEY SAID HURT ON A REAL ISSA!!! *TEARING UP* ... I DO EVERYTHING I DO FOR A REASON. LOOK I JUST NEED SOME TIME TO MYSELF FOR A LITTLE WHILE!.. He gave me a hug which I slightly gave back. And he left.
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It has been a whole month since my last encounter with Issa. I have been doing good. I Made Me Proud. Today I'm rewarding myself, oh did I mention I stopped working at the strip club? Well I have and its not cause if those people, it was simply cause I was tired of it and I wanted better for myself and I wanted to prove to myself that I was worth more.
I pulled up at the mall and headed straight to Champs, etc. I shopped till I drop, literally some random CHAMPS worker had to help me carry all my bags. I then went to the salon and changed my hair so it now looks like how Meagan Good cut her hair but it is colored with blonde, black & brown. I got my nails done after a massage, and a full manicure and pedicure. That's when I decided to hit up Starbucks. As I was walking out I bumped into nun other than ISSA! He invited me to a party , he said he got some connections so a few famous people were going that are in aATL like T.I., 2Chainz, B.o.B., and more. I couldn't turn that down now could I? After all this shopping?? Oh hell naw, u crazy or sum??? I got home and slept a bit. I woke up and started getting ready for this party! After hygiene I put on my matching red bra and pantie set, a short sleeved sheer cropped top, black skinnies, my new bought gold leather jacket, my red booties(wedged) w/ the bow., gold belt, etc. I curled my hair in some small curls sprayed hair spray, perfume and hopped in my red range.
I was turning up twerking on every n**** and getting drinks she I ended up dancing with Issa who took me outside, got use into my car, drove to my house (surprisingly in one piece), and one thing led to another and I woke up searching for what seemed like hours for a condom rapper that I knew wasn't there well that was after I threw my guts out. Issa woke up and did the same when i told him that I didn't think we used a condom and he said I should be fine
.smh he better be right!!!😞😏😐😒😒😒😒
cause it would not Make Me Proud!
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