Redemption

Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Waking up the next morning, I'm in bed alone but I hear the shower shut off. Jax walks out of the bathroom in just a towel and I look away. "Sorry. Didn't think you'd be awake." he says. "It's okay. Um...I think I'll get a shower too." I tell him. I get out of bed and go to walk past him and he gently grabs my hand. I don't look at him but he pulls me closer and says "I won't hurt you." I finally look up at him and say "I know." He kisses my temple and I head to the shower.

When I get out of the shower, he's gone. I get dressed and head out to the main room and see Jax sitting at the bar, drinking his coffee. He reaches his hand out for me and I walk over and take it. He pulls me to the seat next to him but doesn't let go of my hand. I take a drink of my coffee as I pull my hand from his. "After you finish your coffee, I want to take you somewhere." he says and I just nod.

After I finish, we head out to his bike and head off of the lot. We ride around for a while and he pulls up to the streams. Getting off the bike, he laces his fingers with mine and leads me to the edge of the water. Sitting down, he pulls me between his legs and it feels like we've been doing this for years. "This okay?" he asks. "Yeah. It's nice." I tell him and lean back into him. "Talk to me Jax." I say softly. "My mind doesn't shut off. Trying to be the man my club needs, the father my boys need, trying to find who killed my wife? It's all killing me." he says. I turn a little to look at him and say "Jax, remember what I told you that first night we talked?" I ask and he nods. "You're a good man. You're a good father. I've seen you with your boys. They love you." I say. He puts his forehead to mine and says "I've been listening to so many people. Trying to figure out who killed Tara. Being pulled in all these different directions." he tells me. "What do you know?" I ask. He looks at me for a minute and says "All of the info I've been getting has been from my mom but one of my brothers came to me last night and told me that he knew who killed my wife." he says and I pull away from him. "Who did he tell you?" I ask. "My mother." he tells me and I look at him shocked. "What are you going to do?" I ask. "I don't want to kill her but that's how we do things in this life." He tells me. "Jax..." I start. He pulls me closer and says "I don't know what else to do." He says and there are tears falling from his eyes. I move to straddle him and cup his face. "Look at me Jax." I say softly and he looks into my eyes. "You control this. You decide what happens. You don't want to kill her then don't." I tell him. "I can't let her get away with this. She killed my wife. Mother of my kids." he tells me. "Then don't let her get away with it. Remember, what you do doesn't determine who you are. You're reasoning does. You can't bring yourself to kill her, then that means it's not what you feel is the right thing to do in your heart. What other options are there in your world?" I ask. "Ex-communication." he tells me. "What does that entail?" I ask. "Blackout all of her club related tattoos and make her leave and not have anymore contact with anyone that's in the club or any other charter." he tells me. "Then do that. Take it to the club and tell them what you're proposing and vote. Then go from there. No one will bring up killing her because they all love her." I tell him. He looks at me and says "I don't know what I would do without you Ryan." he says. "You'd figure it out. Trust me." I tell him. Me still straddling him, cupping his face, he leans forward and kisses me softly and I let him deepen the kiss for a minute before pulling away and moving off of his lap. "We should go." I tell him and he nods.

We head back to the clubhouse and neither of us say anything as we get off the bike. He kisses my temple and heads inside the clubhouse and I walk in behind him. "Church." he calls and everyone looks at him confused but follows him inside. I head to my dorm with my head down and Venus follows me. She walks into my dorm behind me and closes the door. "What's wrong?" she asks. "I'm okay." I tell her. "No secrets, remember. We don't keep secrets from each other." she tells me. I look at her and say "We went to the streams to talk. I helped him talk through something that was bothering him and when we finished talking, he kissed me." I tell her. "That's good Ry." she asks and I look down at my hands. "He just lost his wife and the shit I've been through, it can't happen." I tell her. "Just take things a day at a time. Things will happen when they are meant to." she tells me and I just nod.

Inside the chapel, Jax has everyone's attention. "I'm sorry I've pulled you all into my shit. I've been listening to some half truths and let it lead me to some shit that shouldn't have happened and I'm sorry for that. One of our brothers has brought some info to me and after checking it out, I know without a doubt who killed Tara." he tells the club. They all look at him confused and Jax nods to Juice. He moves to the safe and gets out a plastic bag that was in there. Juice hands the bag to Jax. "This meat pick is what killed Tara. Juice knew where it was." he says and they all look at Juice confused. "When I left Scoops, the night Tara was murdered, I pulled up at Jax's house because I saw Unser's truck and knew that's what Gemma was driving. Roosevelt was there, said he was escorting Tara home. We heard screaming and when we went inside, Gemma was sitting against the wall, freaked out and Tara was dead on the floor. Gemma blackmailed me into helping her hide it. Said she would tell the club what I was hiding if I didn't help. But, I came to Jax about it and gave him the pick and told him what I was hiding." Juice says. "What are you hiding?" Tig asks. "My father is black. Roosevelt was trying to blackmail me into giving up the club and the cartel but I never gave anything up." Juice says. "What happened to Roosevelt?" Chibs asks. "I shot him. He was about to call in Tara's murder and Gemma told me if I didn't help her that she would come to the club about who my father is and that Roosevelt was blackmailing me and the club would kill me. That she would make sure of it." Juice says. "You didn't rat and your paperwork says Puerto Rican. That's all we need to know. As much as it hurts, you did right coming to me with all of it. As far as I'm concerned, we're good." Jax tells Juice and then looks at the rest of the club. Seeing the rest of the guys at the table nod their okay, Juice releases the breath he was holding. "How are we going to handle this brother? She's your mom. You're call." Happy says. "I was thinking about things. Getting some input. Killing her is how we would normally handle things but I can't bring myself to do it. That tells me it's not the right thing to do. I propose we ex-communicate her." Jax says. "All in favor?" he asks and yeas all around the table. Jax breathes a sigh of relief before saying "Bring her in."