Redemption

Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Jax and I spend the rest of the day in bed, snuggled up together and talking. "I'm sorry Jax." I tell him. Tilting my chin up he asks "For what?" before kissing me softly. "I'm just scared. I don't know how to do this." I tell him. "Do what baby?" he asks. "Be involved with someone. Believe that someone cares about me. I don't know how to do it." I tell him. Moving so he was laying facing me, he cups my face and says "All you have to do is stay with me. When you're ready, I want you to meet my boys." he tells me and I look at him shocked. "When you're ready." he tells me and I nod. "I was telling Tig when we were on the roof, since I was eight years old, I've been nothing more than a piece of pussy. I see the girls out there and see how comfortable they are and how much fun they're having but I never felt that. I never felt that comfort until you." I tell him. Kissing me softly, he says "I want you to feel comfortable. I want you to feel loved and wanted. You're not a piece of pussy. You're my girl." he tells me and I ask "Are you sure this is what you want Jackson? If you just need comfort, I'm okay with that. I'll be here to fill your bed and be what you need physically if that's what you want." I tell him. "If that was all I wanted, I would have one of the croweaters in here. I want you. I want this." he says as he looks into my eyes. "One day at a time." I say and he nods.

When we finally come out of the dorm, we walk to the bar and he tells the prospect to get me something to eat. "Jax..." I start. "I know you haven't eaten today and I'm not done with you yet." he tells me before nuzzling his nose against my neck and my fingers automatically go to his hair. We hear someone clear their throat. We look to see Tig and Venus standing there. "You two okay I take it?" Jax looks at me and I say "Working on it." as he pulls me closer. "Good. But look, sweetheart, anytime you need to talk, we're all here for you." Tig tells me. "Thanks." I say as I pull away from Jax to hug him and Venus. The prospect puts my plate on the bar and Jax says "Time to eat babe. I'm not done with you yet." he says and he pulls me back into his arms and just holds me close as I eat.

Once I get done eating, I see Lyla over to the side. "Give me a minute?" I ask and Jax nods. I walk over to her and say "Can we talk?" I ask and she nods. We head outside to the picnic table and I say "I spoke to Jax." She looks at my neck and says "I see that." I lower my head a little and say "I don't know how to do this Lyla. He wants to be with me and I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to be with him but..." I start and she finishes for me "You don't know how to let him in." I nod and say "It's not just that. I want to let him in so bad but how do I stop my mind from going there? I see the croweaters all over the guys and being affectionate and shit and how comfortable they are. How do I get comfortable with him like that?" I ask. "First of all, you even asking me this, says you have already let him in. Now, being comfortable, honey, I've seen you with him. When you're with him you're no one else exists. You're comfortable with him, you just have to stop overthinking. Now, as far as getting out of your own head, when you start thinking like that? Pull Jax into the dorm and ride him for dear life. I promise you'll forget about the thoughts going on in your head." she tells me. I hug her and say "Thank you Lyla. Seriously." She smiles and says "We're family. You need to talk, find me." she says.

We walk back into the clubhouse and I walk right up to Jax and crash my lips with his and feel him pulling me closer before we finally separate, gasping for air. He looks into my eyes and I whisper "I'm yours Jackson." before he crashes his lips with mine again and we hear the entire clubhouse cheering around us.