Redemption

Chapter 9

Chapter 9

After the sun comes up, I am still sitting on the roof just thinking. I hear someone come up there with me and see it's Tig. He takes the seat next to me and asks "How long have you been up here?" I shrug and say "A while." He moves the chair closer and says "You wanna tell me why you're up here and not in bed with your old man?" he asks. "Not my old man Tig." I tell him. "I see how you and him look at each other." he tells me and I shake my head. "He said he's falling for me." I tell him. "And you don't want that?" he asks. "He's not falling for me. He just misses his wife. That's all this is Tig. He just misses the warm body next to him. It would be the same thing if one of the croweaters were with him." I tell him. "What about you?" he asks. "What about me? Tig, I've never been anything more than a hole to fill. The croweaters? They hook up with you guys and don't even care which one but they do it because they love sex and want to have fun. But me? I've been nothing more than a way for a man to get off since I was eight years old. I've probably had more dick than all those girls down there combined. You think he wants that shit? He misses his wife. That's all it is." I tell him. "Sweetheart, Jax has always let his heart lead him. But he's always been able to separate himself from girls that were just a warm body. I thought you hashed this shit out?" he asks. "We did. I'll be here to help him heal and when he does, I'll be on my way." I tell him as I stand up. "I better get ready for the day." I tell him before leaving him on the roof.

Coming down the ladder, I move to my dorm and Jax is sitting on my bed. "Where did you go?" he asks, not looking at me. "Roof." I tell him simply. He reaches for me and when I take his hand, he pulls me to him and I feel the tears falling again. When I finally get myself together a little I tell him "I appreciate everything you've done for me Jax, but I think it's time for me to go." I tell him, pulling away. He looks at me and asks "Is that what you want?" I don't look at him but nod my head yes. "Then be gone by tonight." before walking out of the room and slamming the door.

I pack what few things I have and head towards the main room. I walk up to Venus and ask "Can you give me a ride?" I ask. "Sure." she says, looking at me confused. She looks at Tig and then Jax and sees Tig looking confused and Jax looks pissed. "Are you sure you want to go?" Tig asks me finally. Before I can answer Jax says "She wants to go, let her fucking go." before heading to his dorm and slamming the door. The tears start to fall again and Venus says "Let's go honey." before wrapping an arm around me and leading me outside. She leads me to a picnic table and says "I'm not taking you anywhere until you tell me what just happened." she says. "He said he's falling for me but Venus, he just misses his wife. All I can be for him is a whole to fill." I tell her. "Well, that right there is just bull shit if I have ever heard it." she tells me and I look at her and start to protest. "Let me tell you something. I went through the same shit you did for just as long as you and I am so tired of you telling me that you can't be fixed. You can. You just have to find the right person to fix you. I see how you are with Jackson. When you and him are together, it's like no one else exists. Alexander has helped me heal and Jackson can be that for you but you have to let him." she tells me and I look at her. "Alexander has his own demons. One of his daughters was killed right in front of him. But he is still capable of loving me and accepting me just the way I am. Jackson cares about you. He has a huge heart and yes he probably does miss his wife but honey, he cares about you too. There is nothing that says he can't fall for you too." she tells me. Tig walks out and says "You and him need to talk." I shake my head and he picks me up and carries me to my dorm that I shared with Jax and as soon as I am inside the dorm, he closes the door and leaves me there.

Jax doesn't look up and I don't leave my spot by the door. He stands and it looks like he's still pissed. He moves towards me and I instinctually back up against the door. He puts both hands on the door on each side of my head and I am stiff. Leaning close, he brushes his nose against mine and says "I will never hurt you." One of his hands slides over and entangles in my hair and his lips hover over mine. "I meant it. I'm falling in love with you." he tells me. "One day at a time." I whisper and he nods slightly before softly kissing my lips as the tears fall down my face. "I will never let anyone hurt you again. Do you understand me?" I nod and he kisses me again. "I need you Jackson." I whisper and he picks me up and carries me to the bed. Laying on the bed, he kisses me deeply before we start to shed clothes and he enters me slowly. Putting his forehead to mine, he makes love to me nice and slow and we both find our release and he whispers "Please don't leave me." I brush my nose against his before kissing him softly and whispering "Okay."