Redemption

Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Laying on the bed in my dorm, I start to sob. I hear my door open and quickly wipe my eyes but then the bed dips down and I feel an arm wrap around me. "I'm here sister." I hear Venus whisper. I turn to face her and she holds me close while I sob. "It's okay." she tells me. "No it's not." I say as I pull away. I sit up and lean against the headboard and she moves to sit next to me. "Talk to me." she says. "He told me I'm his." I tell her. "That's good though." she tells me and I shake my head no. "Why isn't it?" she asks. "He's still healing from losing his wife and now his mom. He's just running off emotion and not wanting to be alone." I tell her. "What about you?" she asks. "I slept with him. First time being with someone when it wasn't forced or me being pimped out. He doesn't need someone that's all used up." I tell her. "Honey..." she starts and I stop her. "V, don't. Neither of us are in the right mindset to get anything started between us other than sex." I tell her. "I'll agree there but just take it a day at a time with him. It will happen when it's supposed to happen." she tells me and I nod.

A few days later, I am sitting at the bar, drinking my coffee when Jax walks into the clubhouse. The guys welcome him back and he looks tired. Once he sees everyone, he walks over to me and pulls me close and I let him. Kissing me softly he asks "Can we talk?" I nod and he leads me to the hallway to a ladder. We climb up onto the roof and walk over to the chairs that have been set up there. We each take a chair and when I sit down, he pulls his in front of mine and sits. Taking my hands in his, he says "I've had some time to think about things." I nod and pull my hands from his. "I meant what I said when I said you were mine." he says and I shake my head. "You don't want that?" he asks hurt. "It's not that, Jax. But right now neither of us are in the right frame of mind to get anything serious started between us." I tell him. "I agree but what about this, we sleep next to each other almost every night anyway, we keep doing what we've been doing, helping each other, but we don't see anyone else and just take shit a day at a time. I think my mom was right when she said you were a good woman. We need each other Darlin." he tells me. "That's what Venus said was to just take things a day at a time but Jax, you don't need someone that's used up. I'll still be here for you and I'll still help you sleep but all I can give you is comfort and sex. I can't give you anything else right now." I tell him. "Okay." he says before getting up and heading down the ladder, leaving me there in tears.

I stay up there for a while when Tig climbs up. "You okay Doll?" he asks. Wiping the tears away, I say "Doesn't matter." before getting up and heading towards the ladder when Tig gently grabs my wrist and I flinch. "Sorry." he says as he lets go. "Why doesn't it matter?" he asks. I look at him and say "Tig, most of my life all I've been is a way for men to get off. He needs more than that. My mind is fucked up and he's still dealing with losing his wife and now Gemma. Neither of us are in a good place to be starting anything up. I told him I can give him comfort and sex but that's all I can right now." I tell him. "And you don't think that's a good starting point? Come on." he tells me as he leads me to the ladder.

Heading out to the main room, he sees Jax sitting in the chapel and leads me inside and shuts the doors. "You two need to listen and listen good. You two need each other. Doesn't matter if your minds are right. You'll help each other get there. We see how you are together. When you're together, no one else exists. You calm each other. You comfort each other. Keep doing that and everything else will happen when it's supposed to. Neither of you are to come out of this room until you hash this shit out." he tells me before walking out and leaving us alone.

"Jax..." I start and he stops me. "He's right." he says. I look at him and he stands. Walking over to me he kisses me softly and says "Let's just keep doing what we've been doing and let shit happen as it happens." he tells me. Deciding to give him what he needs, not worrying about myself, I nod and whisper "I'm here for whatever you need." He kisses me again and says "I'm here for you too." I shake my head and say "I'm fine." He looks at me concerned and I say "Jax, I'm beyond fixable. Just let me be here for you." He pulls me close and says "You're not beyond fixable." before kissing me deeply and saying "And you're mine."