QURBAAT by lueurjoon
Review by ARILEZX
IMPRESSION BEFORE READING
Title.
Definitely intriguing. But I suggest you add its meaning in the description since not everyone is familiar with it.
Description.
Full marks. Full marks.
Cover.
Full marks. I loved the font, the picture, the overall effect.
Basically everything.
AFTER READING
I was truly mesmerized by your writing style and the uniqueness of your plot.
However, I suggest you proofread your prologue once again for I found a couple of mistakes in there.
Taehyung was the sole character I found to be missing that depth.
No problem with the PoV usage (:
FOCUSES
Characters.
I'll only focus on Taehyung here since he was the only one who threw me off slightly. Not by his behaviour, but by his emotions. He seemed quite robotic. His actions were more well-defined than his thoughts.
Plot.
I really have nothing much to stay here except for the fact that I loved how genuine your plot was.
Reminds me of my own country's corrupted politics and politicians.
Writing Style.
This is were perhaps I can genuinely help you.
Readers often seek a perfect balance between dialogues and descriptions (of characters, settings etc.)
For you, I found that the seesaw was leaning slightly more on the descriptive side of the story.
Just add more dialogues (or quotes) in places where you feel the description is too long or boring.
ADVICE
Characters.
For Taehyung, it got better with the progressing chapters but as for the start I suggest you tweak that flashback a little bit to make it seem more genuine.
Lean more towards his thoughts and tap into his emotions to help him grow.
° Be careful with commas too. I found this as a repetitive mistake in your story.
° Your dialogues also contained certain errors related to punctuations.
If no tag follows the text, end the dialogue with punctuation to end the spoken sentence. This rule applies only to periods. You should not omit other punctuation that adds meaning or clarity to the sentence, such as an exclamation point or question mark.
ENDING NOTE
I am looking forward to reading more of your story♡
YOU ARE READING
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