Bangtan Writers Reviews

Just Pregnant With My Ex-girlfriend's Baby @Savaginity

Just Pregnant With My Ex-girlfriend's Baby Savaginity
Review by park_ryanne

FIRST IMPRESSION 

• TITLE - it's definitely not eye-catching or intriguing at all. The title is long and it seems unprofessional, and your title plays a big role in drawing readers in. The title could either make the reader curious of how a male could be pregnant or be confused, thinking it's a spelling error/grammar error or some sort.

• COVER - messy. The fonts aren't suitable, in my opinion. A piece of advice I could give is to try not to use bold fonts. And, it's not attractive to look at tbh. I don't feel attracted when I look at it.

• DESCRIPTION - it's too short. We already know that someone's going to get pregnant in this story from your title, and you're delivering the same message in the description. Try adding something that is probably unexpected, and that'll certainly attract readers. Or maybe you can try adding a dialogue instead, like maybe 'Hey I'm a pregnant guy!' or something. I looked at the tags you used just to make sure, and male pregnancy is certainly involved. So, maybe tell the readers a little bit more about this pregnancy.

'Kim Taehyung - tall, charming, has the visuals of a God, a man of a woman's dream. This man stumbled upon Len Ariel and somehow gets pregnant with her child.'

AFTER READING 

Okay, uhm, I'm genuinely confused just by reading your prologue. Starting the story with a character announcing she's pregnant is not a good choice. I mean, if you introduced a short backstory about who this character is and how she is connected or related with the main character would be better than to straight off announcing a pregnancy.

You're introducing so many characters, different names here and there. So, that is very, very confusing. And the time skips are again very, very confusing, especially since it's only in the prologue. Your prologue seems unprofessional and to be honest, I didn't feel like I want to read your book any further.

But, oh-oh, I can't judge too soon.

As I read more of the chapters, I realised the dialogues between the characters are rather confusing. Like, take the second chapter for example, where Yeonjun and Beomgyu are talking - although there are only two characters talking, I don't know who's talking. Add a sentence that can make the readers know who's talking. Use words like 'said', 'remarked', 'replied', 'argued back', 'screamed', 'whispered' etc, just so the readers don't get confused.

And I think starting from the second chapter, I could feel that you're rushing your book - wherein you want your two main characters, who have broken up, to be together again. 

FOCUSES 

• PLOT - I think your plot is original and is very creative for a rom-com book. However, because of many errors and rushings of the plot etc, your book is rather boring to be read.

ADVICE 

I suggest you reread your book again as I found quite a number of grammatical and spelling errors. And, definitely, don't be shy to ask help from people. If you're too shy and scared to suddenly slide in someone's DMs for help, I'd be happy to help you out!

ENDING NOTE 

I believe you'll be a better writer one day. Just keep on practising and never give up. Writing is definitely hard, but if your determination gets the best of you, then nothing is impossible. Wow, does that make sense? Good luck on your journey as a writer!

We remind you to credit us, thebtswriters, and your reviewer, park_ryanne, in the description of your story for giving you a review. Thank you for requesting!