forever// 5SOS

7

Ashton

The next few days at the office went quick, as usual, and I was relieved to get in bed on Friday night.

In the morning, I wrote myself a list of tasks I needed to do before Ava came. First, I had to change the sheets in the spare room, then hoover the whole house.

I put a curry on the slow cooker, and organised the blankets on the sofa. Then, I cleaned the bathroom and got dressed.

My phone rang and I put it on speaker, mum's voice coming through.

"Are you all sorted?"

"Hello," I chuckled, "Yeah I think so,"

"Good, are you just staying at home?"

"I think it's best if I get her used to the environment,"

"Yeah, well tell me if you're coming over tomorrow because I'm cooking Sunday lunch,"

"What! Even if we don't come, save it and I'll have it for tea,"

"Alright," she laughed, "have a good day,"

I made myself some breakfast, deciding I would drop by Calum's on the way.

He had only just woken up, so I jumped on his bed and took out my phone.

"Did you just come so you could get back in bed?"

"No, I was gonna see you but you're basically asleep,"

"How did you get in?"

"My key,"

He nodded and rolled to face me, hitting the phone out my hand.

"Are you nervous?"

"A little,"

"Good. She's gonna love it at your place, I mean, we all do,"

"But that's cos I have beer,"

"Yeah, and your house is just a welcoming space. I can't describe it, but it is,"

I sighed and bit my lip, the nerves properly kicking in. Realistically, to make it on time, I had to have left Calum's five minutes ago, but I was too worried.

"What if she doesn't like it?"

"Well she won't know if you don't go and pick her up," he chuckled, "go, I'll see you on Monday,"

I smiled and grabbed my phone, leaving his flat and getting back in my car.

Truthfully, I was avoiding the situation. Not because I didn't want to go, but because I was scared she would hate it. As I got to the orphanage, it was unusually quiet.

Georgia greeted me, taking us into her office.

"There's a cold going round, they're all either asleep or feeling sorry for themselves," she chuckled lightly, "Ava is alright though,"

"Really? I thought she'd be at more risk,"

"She's not really been with anyone, it's been a tough week. I know I say that everytime, but she goes through so much that she can't even put into words,"

"I know, I want to adopt her- when she is ready- and make sure she talks to someone,"

"I truly am glad you came into her life, because she needs someone like you. They all do,"

She took me upstairs, right to the end of the corridor where there was a small room. I assumed the others shared- she wouldn't.

Georgia knocked on the door and walked in, Ava curled up on her bed. She shrunk back slightly, her tiny body looking frail and scared.

"Hey sweetheart, you still up to staying over?"

She shrugged and her face changed, a sob coming out. Slowly, I crouched infront of her and took her hand.

"You don't have to,"

"I want to,"

"Alright, shall we go then? We can do some baking or watch some films, or you could even have a nap,"

"I'm sorry,"

"Don't be," I smiled, "Are you all ready?"

She nodded and picked up her bag, taking my hand as we followed Georgia out. I could tell she was anxious, and I could tell she was having a tough time.

"You can come another day,"

"No," she whined, "today,"

"Okay, lets get in the car,"

Georgia thanked me and waved us off, Ava hardly filling the car seat at all. Her jumper hung off her shoulders, and her leggings showed just how thin she was.

"Take some deep breaths for me," I said calmly, starting the car.

"I can't,"

"Yes you can, I'm gonna drive home now,"

She nodded but started crying, making me hold my hand out when I was on the main road. Of course, she took it.

"Talk to me, just let it out,"

As expected, I was just faced with silence. It was hard, and I got it, but she needed to understand that she wasn't  alone.

"It's been fresh in my mind this week,"

"Everything?"

She shrugged and held my hand tighter, making it difficult to park. I climbed out the car and opened her door, hesitantly cupped her face in my hands.

"Sweetheart, I'm not expecting you to tell me your whole story, but if you really can't get something off your mind it might help to talk. If you don't want to talk to me, my friend Michael could come over. He deals with things like this a little more often than me,"

"No," she trembled, "you,"

Carefully, she climbed out the car and followed me to my flat. Anyone watching would think I was kidnapping the poor child; pulling a crying child into your building isn't the best impression.

We took the lift up to the flat and I unlocked the door, waiting for her to go in. Only, she shook her head.

"You go in first,"

"How about together?"

I stepped forward and she shuffled behind, making her way into the flat.

"You were so excited to come here, do you think you can find some of that again?"

She crossed her legs, cringing and shaking her head.

"The toilets opposite my room, which is down that corridor,"

"Ash it hurts,"

"Go to the toilet then,"

"No, the memory it's like, it's like it's happening again and it's not but it is," she sobbed, squeezing both my hands. Quickly, I led her through to her room and let her lay on the bed.

"I'm not gonna touch you in ways that you don't want, and I'm not gonna talk to you without respect. I'm not doing anything like that. I can go out and get you a phone to call me whenever you need, and I'd only ever let people I trust near you,"

"Make it go away, I can't stop thinking about it,"

"Take deep breaths and I know I keep saying it, but you don't always remember,"

"Ashton," she sighed, grabbing my shoulders instead.

"Ava, in this house, you're safe. In this house, whoever is in here, we will love you, and respect you, and protect you. The same goes for if you visit any of my friend's houses. Don't be ashamed to be scared, but do remember that nothing in here is ever going to hurt you,"