forever// 5SOS

53

Ava

I curled into dad's side, listening to their conversation. He definitely thought I was asleep, but he still rubbed circles on my hand.

Recently, I'd felt so much my comfortable, and so much more secure. It had been hard to get to this point, so I was proud, but maybe my feelings were stupid.

"Is she asleep?" Luke said, dad humming.

"Good, because we need to make a plan,"

A plan.

I knew I was doubting my judgement, but this was quick.

They were going to hurt me. They were going to do horrible things to me.

"Why?"

"Ash, come on,"

"What?" he said more defensively.

"She isn't healthy, and her mind isn't healthy either,"

"And you think I'm not doing anything?"

"Ash," Calum spoke, "Luke, we don't really understand what you're getting at,"

I definitely didn't.

"I'm not getting at you?" he said.

"Look," Michael interrupted, "we've been thinking, okay? Because we are doctors, so of course we will worry,"

"Everything you do would help someone... if it wasn't her situation. The gym, the therapy, the school. Trust me, it clearly has helped her to a certain extent, but she's exhausted. Constantly,"

It was true.

And I didn't even see the benefits.

"Well what do I do?"

His grip tightened, and I got scared. I knew he was just protecting me, but I hated it.

"I think you should let me do the fitness, instead, because I have done all the studying before,"- "How are you any better?"

"Because I've studied development of children, and I know how to help in a way that won't tire her out as much,"

"Ashton, I think he's right, and it won't cost anything ," Calum said, "just give him a chance,"

"And she needs to have more time in the week with you, just to relax. You said she likes drawing, and baking, so do that,"

"We don't have time,"

"That's what we need to figure out, because she needs to do something like yoga to relax herself. It sounds stupid, I know it will, but getting her to eat the right food and have a personal trainer once a week won't do anything,"

"Well what do you suggest?" he said, getting tearful, "I just want to protect her, and keep her healthy and happy. I don't know what to do guys,"

"That's why we want to help," Michael said.

"I'm such a shit parent,"

As I listened, I felt guilty. I'd made dad feel like that, and feel useless. Since I couldn't blow my cover, I pretended to nuzzle into his chest more, but I was actually trying not to cry.

"No you're not," Calum said, "let's think about it. Realistically, you need to cut down your work hours. You need to finish by half four everyday,"

"I can't do that,"

"I think you have a good reason mate,"

"See if you an change her therapy to say, Monday and Friday, so you have the whole week. We can think of a day when you've talked with her, and it will just be half an hour. Get her some at home yoga things, you're getting the dog, do more things that get her up and going, but won't wear her down,"