forever// 5SOS

62

Viola

It broke my heart.

She clung onto Ashton, who held her close to his body. Both of them were shaking, and had tear stained faces.

Gently, I wrapped a blanket round the two of them, rubbing Ashton's back.

"I can get a taxi home," I whispered.

"No," he gulped, "we need you here,"

"I needed to get it out," Ava said quietly, "I know this isn't the evening you wanted,"

"It's okay," I said, because although I had wanted to spend time with Ashton, this was important too.

"I think I will go to bed soon,"

"Okay," Ashton said, "tomorrow, we will do whatever you want,"

"I'm really scared,"

"You don't need to be scared anymore," he whispered.

"I'm sorry," I said, "I'm sorry. I know my place isn't the nicest but if I knew it would make you remember that, I would've got another lift,"

"It's okay, Viola," she sniffed, "You're not the only person who lives there, and you didn't make it like that,"

She pushed Ash away, and hugged me instead, placing a small kiss on my cheek.

"It's not your fault,"

"I think we all need a good rest, and we can wake up tomorrow with a fresh start,"

Ava sat on my lap, and rested against my body, sighing heavily. I reached out to Ashton and held his hand, grabbing his attention.

"It's okay," I mouthed, pulling him towards us.

"Ava, go and brush your teeth and find some comfy pyjamas. Settle with a good book, and I'll come through soon," he said, kissing her cheek. Suddenly, he'd snapped back into dad mode.

She got up and left the room, leaving me alone with him.

And it felt stupid to have a crush, but I did. I was too old for crushes, but I had one.

"Everytime she tells me something new, I just break down, because it hurts me," he said.

"She's safe, here,"

"If you want to go home, you can. Ava will probably want to sleep in my bed tonight... even though I'd much rather have you,"

I smiled and rested on his shoulder, stroking Montana. She licked my other hand and Ashton put his arm round my shoulder, my cheeks warming up.

Since we'd been on the same team for years, we'd always gone to the meals and events put on by the chief. We actually used to be really good friends, but once my dad got sick, I distanced myself from people.

Being close with him wasn't unusual at all, but feeling butterflies and comfort around him was; it was alien.

"I'll sleep wherever is free,"

"If you do want to get out of that apartment, you can stay here. I can get a sofa bed, and we can look for another one good for you,"

The plan started off great, but I wanted to stay here. It was forward, but we'd both been forward since the start.

"I'm knackered,"

"Me too," I said, standing up, "I might sleep too,"

Ava came out the bathroom with her expander key, bumping into me in a rush.

"I need help,"

"Alright, back to the light,"

I washed my hands and took the key, carefully clicking it. I was glad I'd left a little leeway between the two months and braces, because she'd been set back a week- we weren't back on track.

I felt for the girl.

"Now, quickly before your dad gets here. Do you need anymore pads? And are your bras fitting okay? Or do you have any questions? I know you can talk to your dad but he can be a bit silly sometimes,"

She giggled and shrugged, looking in the cupboard. Then, her cheeks turned a bit red, and she looked down.

"You can talk to your dad instead,"

"No, I just feel ashamed,"

"You don't have to be ashamed. I was a teenage girl once, and I won't call anything stupid,"

"How do you know if a bra is too small?"

"It can be uncomfy, and dig into you,"

"I think mine is,"

"That's okay. I'm guessing you've never had a fitting?"

"No, please no,"

"Okay, it's just hard to know your size without," I frowned.

"What do they do?"

"You'll wear a vest, and they have to measure you and then they get your size. Nothing scary, I promise,"

"Maybe I could do that if it was you or Lauren there too,"

"What if, the three of us had a girls day out tomorrow?"

"Then dad is on his own,"

"He will go round to Calum's, I'm sure,"

"Okay, I'll ask Lauren,"

She bounced out the room, and I smiled, but it dropped when she left. I couldn't exactly afford a massive spree, given that it was almost pay day, so I hoped Ash could pay for her things. I'd made a promise I couldn't keep.

"She's happy- what's wrong?"

"I'm sorry,"

"What for?" he asked, cupping my cheek, "what's happened?"

"I told Ava we could go out with Lauren tomorrow, and she needs new bras but I can't pay for them,"

"You don't need to pay," he smiled, "You don't have to pay, okay? Do you need anything like that?"

"Ash, you don't have to,"

"I'll give you some cash tomorrow, you'll just need to let me get it out. It sounds like just the day she needs,"

"You can't just give people money like that. I know you just want to help, but it'll bounce back badly one day,"

"Well it hasn't yet," he said.

I looked up at him, and in his eyes, seeing them raw with emotion.

Love. Hate.

Peace. Anger.

Clear. Confusion.

And they drew me closer, and closer, or perhaps he drew closer, and closer. There was a little shuffle at the doorway, and I went to pull back, but his lips were already on mine.

And I had to admit, it felt good.