forever// 5SOS

45

Ava

"Good morning," Ashton said, to which I dismissed the comment and got the bread out the cupboard.

"Is this because I made you brush your teeth properly?" he sighed.

"No,"

"Then what?"

"I don't know," I grumbled, "I don't want to go out, and I'm tired, and upset, and I feel anxious and stupid,"

"Okay," he said quietly, "well you shouldn't be mad at me for that, should you?"

"Excuse me," I said, reaching for a knife. I didn't want to be this angry, I just was. School was tomorrow, I felt rubbish about myself; everything ahead looked rubbish.

"Harry is so excited about us watching today, I know it's not what you want to do, but we are seeing grandma and Lauren,"

"I'm stressed,"

"So am I!" he snapped, "I am too Ava, and I'm anxious, and I'm on edge, but I realise that there are people around- the same people who are there for you- that will help me,"

I gulped and stepped back. This was it.

"Look, I know you want to isolate yourself, but it causes more harm than good,"

"I don't want to go,"

"Well what do I do then? Harry will be upset,"

"I don't know!"

He sighed and got me a plate, taking out his phone and texting someone. Moments later, he put it away and got me the butter.

"You're going to Calum's,"

"Fine," I quivered, making my toast and heading back to my room.

He had been so accepting about this before, and I didn't understand the problem. I was allowed to not go out, he always let me go to bed if I was tired.

Once I'd eaten my toast, I went to the bathroom and brushed my teeth, huffing as I flossed.

My reflection upset me, just like everything else had, and I wanted to cry.

I had a tummy, which I personally didn't like. My eyes had dark circles. My face looked wide, my teeth were disgusting and I looked miserable.

Then, when I went to get dressed, I couldn't even put my jeans on. I had to get the bigger size we bought, but I wouldn't let dad know I was upset. Clearly, he didn't care.

"Ava, we are going in five minutes,"

I tied my hair up and grabbed a stuffed animal, putting on my shoes and waiting by the front door.

Dad tried to wrap his arm round my shoulder but I shrugged him off, sitting in the seat behind the driver's seat.

"Ava, really?"

"What?"

"It's not very nice, is it?"

I didn't reply, watching out the window until we arrived at Calum's house. Admittedly, I was a little nervous because I'd never been to his house before, but I just wanted to sleep.

My back hurt, and I was exhausted.

We got out the car and took the lift up to his flat, dad knocking on his door. Calum answered and let me in, giving dad a hug.

"I'll keep her until you're ready," he said, "wish Harry luck,"

"Thankyou,"

"Come on sweetheart, lets go and have a chat," Calum said, shutting the door. I shook my head.