forever// 5SOS

9

*trigger warning- hard relationship with food*
Ashton

"Good morning," I said quietly, carrying breakfast for Ava into her room. She was bundled under the duvet covers, and groaned when I came in.

"Tired?"

"I didn't sleep well,"

"That seems to be a common thing," I frowned, sitting on her bed.

"Sleep isn't nice, and I'm always scared of someone coming in,"

"How about, you eat and have a little nap? I can sit here and make sure nothing happens?" I asked, carefully taking a bobble from her wrist and starting to tie her hair up.

"I don't know,"

"It's just an idea. My family can sometimes take a lot of energy," I smiled.

"It's just you in the room,"

"I get it, maybe you could have a nap in Harry's room later,"

"No," she said quickly, "I don't know,"

"That's okay," I assured, "eat as much as you can,"

I passed her the toast, bowl of berries and orange juice on a tray. She widened her eyes, growing pale.

"Ashton, I can't,"

"Okay, choose one to eat for now,"

"Which is less?"

"You don't need to be worrying about that,"

She nodded and picked up one of the berries, rolling it round in her hand.

"Why do you need to think about that?"

"I said I didn't want to talk about my body,"

"I know you said that sweetheart, but if there's a more serious issue then I may have to push,"

"It's just them," she whispered, "and they used to... I used to eat the food so they didn't hurt me and call me ungrateful, but then they said stuff and made me feel so disgusting and I refused to eat... but then they laid back on the hurt and started doing things to me because I was appealing and- and- and- now I don't know what I'm supposed to look like to be a good girl,"

"Woah, woah," I said, overwhelmed with information, "slow down,"

"I'm only going to make you eat the amount you should be having, to make sure you can grow up okay? To be a girl, you don't have to look a certain way, or do certain things. You're a kid,"

"Don't force it down me," she begged.

"I didn't mean that, I didn't mean that. I meant I would encourage you to finish the meal. Later at my mum's, I will fill your plate with the right amount and as long as you eat as much as possible, I'll be proud,"

"When can I live with you properly? You understand," she whispered, starting to eat the berries, "unless you don't want me. I know I'm slow, but I try not to be too slow, and I know I cry but I try to hold my anxious feelings inside when I don't feel it's necessary,"

"I will try to get you here as soon as possible, I promise. I don't care that you're a little slow because as long as you're comfy, I'm happy. But, if you're anxious then tell me. You don't have to tell me why, but I could hold your hand, or put my arm round your shoulder, or call one of my friends who you might get to know,"

"I would like that,"

"I feel like you're making such good progress," I smiled, "because you'd never think to be sat this close or talking this openly when we first met,"