THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR 3K READS! HERES MY "SPECTACULAR" 3K READS CHAPTER! I LOVE YOU GUYS!
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I got up and started running again, my knees were wet with the morning dew of grass, bundled a little with dirt.
It felt good to run, like this was some kind of stress exercise, and it just felt amazing to move and be, I don't know free? To know that all your problems are gone and your free, but I'm running to another problem, and that's life. It's just.. a never ending cycle of leaving, and going, and leaving and going. It never stops, but if it did, we would be leaving.
Forever.
And I think that's why our problems are important, because, we need them for our strategy, and most of the time, when we can't face our problems, we leave.
My mom left me, but she wanted to face her problem, and I was going to do that for her.
But I need to get to that problem, I need to run.
I had to help my dad. If he ever woke up, that is.
The woods soon turned into a field next to a road with unfamiliar houses, they weren't clean, but neither was it trashy.
It was a small field of growing wheat, it looked ready to harvest.
It looked so pretty now, because it turned into a field of flowers, I wish I could take a photo.
And I pulled my phone out of my pocket, untouched from the night before because I had forgot I even had it, and checked my phone. So many notifications.
12 missed calls from Drew, 5 unread messages from Drew, 1 missed call from Mom, and the rest were social media notifications.
Mom.
The painfully sweet memories swam into my mind, and all I needed to do was go.
So, that's what I did, I let nothing hold me back anymore because I was so over done, the absence of my mom was unbearable, like a car with no motor, but it never felt like she was really gone, not until I got to the hospital.
And 7 miles.... was an over-statement, I got there... Maybe at 9, and I left at maybe, around 7:30. Sure, that's long, but not as long as I was prepared for.
It was maybe an hour before I actually made it to the hospital, due to the many short cuts I had taken, I hadn't assumed they'd help.
The field turned into a small development, right next to a high way, and I roamed the dirty side, outlets and drive ways of sorts. The hospital was in my far view blended with other buildings among the blue sky line.
I walked amongst the other people across the street and into the hospital, fairly packed but the front desk was free.
"William Adilia, please," I said with the little patience I had.
"Are you related to him? And if so, can I see some identification?"she asked politely, where I ripped out my drivers license of my wallet, showing it to her.
"Down the hall, take a right and he should be on your far right, room 205," she smiled.
I walked as fast as I could because the lady had already yelled at me for running, and soon I was out side his door, and pushed it open, I didn't know what to expect.
There he lay on the bed, asleep what I assumed, and his body was hooked up to chords, it looked as if he wasn't breathing but the heart monitor was at a normal rate, his left arm was wrapped in a cast already.
I moved in fragility over to the side of the bed, and looked over at him, he would be awake in a few hours.
It was hard to believe that he was the only parent left.
A car crash, ended this all. All she wanted to do was drive home safely from a party.
But even the thought, seeing her crash in my mind wasn't enough to make me cry, I didn't know what was. I didn't want to be pushed to be broken, I wanted to know, but there was only one way to know, and I still wasn't pushed hard enough.
It was pushing me over, or never being pushed. And even with that I wouldn't be able to tell.
I ran for so long, and truly all I needed was silence. Not the beating of my heart nor the crunch of leaves beneath my feet. Silence is what soothed me, I didn't need anyone but my own.
I sat on the side of the bed silently, and he stirred a little, but I didn't awake him.
I remember when I was little, like most people, I'd go and sleep with my parents after a bad nightmare, and I remember this night, my parents got in a fight, so I went to sleep with my dad on the couch because my mom was crying and she didn't want to talk. I remember looking down on her like I am now.
I also remember skipping school with my dad one time to go on a trip with him, and we went to some stupid amusement park, and he paid the man to allow me on the roller coaster because I was too small.
I also remember sitting in the back seat with my older brother who's now in collage, and I remember going on vacation, and waking up to that one song.... I think it's by the Mumford & Sons. I think it was Little Lion Man...
I hummed silently at beat with the song.
Tomorrow I had school, but there was no way I was going now.
No way did I really want to interact with anyone...
My breath was steadied now, I was sitting carefully, I wasn't thinking, I wasn't doing, I wasn't. There was an indescribable way of what I was doing.
So I sat in thought, what about Drew?
Madeline?
My mom?
My life?
