The Act of Forgiveness

31

When I woke up three days before Christmas, I felt as if I had an epiphany. My mind was clear and I hadn't felt so well rested since before Evelyn was born. The space next to me was empty, the sheets rustled, meaning that Jasper had probably gotten up with Evelyn. As I laid in a half awake stupor, I remembered that I wanted to invite Jasper's family over for Christmas. When we had told Barbara about our newest baby more than a month ago, I found it easy to want to apologize and let her back into our lives.

I could hear Evelyn laughing and babbling down the hall. She had hit nineteen months old, meaning she was even closer to being two. It broke my heart at how fast she was growing, but it was so amazing to see her flourish from the sick little preemie she had been.

I swung my legs over the side of the bed and planted my feet firmly on the ground as I pushed myself off the bed. My joints were incredibly stiff during this pregnancy, which I thought was a weird symptom, but Dr. Knotts had assured me that it was pretty common.

"Mommy!" Evelyn sung as she saw me emerge from the bedroom, my arms wrapped around my torso as the cold slipped into my pajamas.

"Hello my baby!" I cheered, reaching down to lift her into my arms.

"Hi babe." Jasper greeted from the couch, his hair still messy and his eyes soft from just waking up. He must have just left the room as I woke up.

"What have you guys been up to?" I asked. Evelyn was still tight in my grip, her small nose pressed into my neck as I swayed with her in my arms. She sighed contently and swirled a piece of my hair that had fallen in front of her face.

"I was just about to start breakfast." He smiled sheepishly as he walked closer to press a kiss to my forehead. "How do you feel?"

"I still don't really feel pregnant. This pregnancy is going so much smoother than Evelyn's." I explained, smiling as Evelyn perked up at the sound of her name.

"Did you give momma a run for her money?" He asked as he turned to head back into the kitchen.

"Yes, so I'm happy this is going smoother." I kissed Evelyn's cheek as she continued to lie on my shoulder. She was mumbling quietly to herself, only a few actual words slipping out of her parted lips.

"What do you want to eat?" Jasper asked as he flicked the stove on and placed a skillet over the small fire.

"Maybe pancakes?" I asked, settling on a barstool at the island with Evelyn resting on my lap. My stomach wasn't too big so she could still lay on my chest easily.

"Coming up!" He grinned, spinning his spatula in his fingers with a proud expression across his still sleepy face.

"Hey J?" I asked, getting his attention after he had poured the first pancake in the pan. We had sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes as Evelyn had returned to twirling my hair around her small finger and mumbling easily to herself.

"What's up?" He asked, glancing up from his phone where he was more than likely texting his manager.

"Maybe we should get some plane tickets for everyone, like Mary Kate and your parents?" I offered shyly, my hesitation clear as I twiddled with Evelyn's zip up pajamas. There was a small flap that buttoned over the zipper so she couldn't pull it down and it had caught my attention as I diverted my eyes.

When I looked up again, he was smiling softly and leaning towards me a little. He had placed his phone down and a grin was now spreading across his face.

"Would you be comfortable with that?" He asked, double checking before his hopes got up.

"Yeah, I think it would be nice to see them." I assured him, setting Evelyn on the ground next to me so she could toddle away and play with her toys. I knew she would be uninterested in this conversation and I wanted to give Jasper all of my attention. Jasper walked over after she had left and leaned against me, wrapping his arms tightly around my torso.