Cruel Love [L.H]

Introduction

I love and hated school. The only reasons I loved it is because of the kind teachers and because I like studying but either than that I hated it because I was bullied.

No one will ever know the pain I go through, physically and mentally.

Sometimes it's hard to hold back this tears but sometimes it'll just flow in front of them. I live with my mother because my dad died when I was 3 and I was the only child. I spend my nights alone because my mom works really late at a diner.

While she's gone I would feel suicidal, I would go up to her bathroom and I would take her pills. I know pills causes death but I didn't care because I was really hurt.

Sometimes mom would come home to see me lay on the bathroom floor with pills in my hand.

Once I was rushed to the hospital because I stopped breathing for a while. I knew I shouldn't have taken to much pills. I felt bad cause my mom had to spend money for my treatment. The doctors suggested I join a sharing group where people who were bullied share their experience and let out their emotions but I was just too stubborn to join.

Life was pretty stressful. It's so hard to intake all those mean words and insults or anything physical that they do to me. I breakdown easily but not so easily. The only way I stop myself from breaking down in front of them is by digging my nails into my skin which actually helps but it hurts a little bit.

If only they knew how I felt. All I wish for was not to be born or for God to take my life away. I used to be close to God but I slowly drifted away because I couldn't handle the bullies and I thought that HE wasn't helping at all.

But I still prayed but I wasn't as close as I used to be when I was younger. My name is Autumn , yes it's a very shitty name and you could make fun of it.

I have long natural black hair just around my chest ,it's not curly and it's not straight but it used to have a lots of curls when I was younger but my mom kept chopping it off which I totally don't mind.

I had brown eyes like every normal person had and I'm a bit tanned, I have luscious lips which everyone used to make fun of they said I had huge ugly lips but they're actually not that big and I have thick eyebrows but not too thick either.

Yeah maybe I'm not that girl you'll ever look for or want to date, I'm not pretty either. I'll admit I'm a needs. Basically my life is useless I feel like I was born and I am living for nothing.

-Hi loves , okay just to let yall know you should keep reading even if the first part wasn't interesting or if u think it is but whatever cuz there are greater things happening in the story :)

-One last thing go follow this beautiful girl I dedicated this chapter to and support her Vamps fanfic if u are a Vampette or if you like the Vamps :)