Again [COMPLETE]

//Fifteen

Rain threatening to fall any second by now but she still decided to stay still on her place. Even being weirdly looked by people around her she didn't budge to move an inch. It has been an hour since the decided time and she don't even know if someone will still actually come after her. 

Hours turned to more, a few droplet of water was easily felt, landing on her shoulder but she didn't mind it. It's just light rain it's not like it'll be the cause of her death. Plus she's waiting for someone more important than the rain. 

Person by person, they were all leaving, it went down hard. An unexpected downpour,  but the worse is she didn't bring any umbrella with her for she thought that it will be sunny. Soaking wet but there was still no movement. Her eyes set on a specific place, the entrance of the park. Still holding on to the thin thread of hope she felt cold. 

A hopeless day.

Gazing up to the roaring sky, she felt like the clouds are feeling the same way. 

A sight of an airplane flying out of the country caught her eyes.

"So I was fooled.." a word came out from Minjoo after minutes of spacing out, expecting for something and looking forward to nothing. "I'm so stupid."

Thoughts, idea, reasons, causes-- she came to all of it, jumped to conclusions, thinking of where she went wrong, initially blaming herself once again. "I got left behind again."

"I really thought that she'll come back to me."

"Why."

"Just.."

"Why."

All her questions that can only be answered by Chaewon, the questions she made up to. 

"Meet me at the park just few blocks away from the house."

"We'll settle things down."

"I'll wait you there."

"Minjoo."

"I love you."

When Chaewon gave her the word, she happily claimed it. Like everything in the past disappeared in the blink of an eye. It all went poof like it was just nothing but a plain memory. 

"Dumbass." she have said the same thing all and all over again, because it's not enough to tell how stupid she is to fall on those tricks. To believe that shit that it would actually fix everything between them. That Chaewon will finally be opening her feelings once again, that they would be mutual to each other.

But it didn't work that way, none of what she expects happened. 

"She made me wait here, for nothing."

Every drop adds an additional pain, does the sky feels what she feels-- because if yes then she would be more glad. Knowing that even a non living thing could tell what she feels when Chaewon, a human cant even determine it.

With all the assumptions, she have finally got the reason why she was called to meet Chaewon, why the older told her to settle everything-- on why an I love you was dropped. "So I wont see her leave."

Making her wait at their meeting place, so they wont see each other separate paths, watch one of them walk their way out as the other remains still. The same thing happened again, it was like on loop, tasked to be repeated everytime they meet.

"I look dumb." a bitter laugh came out, she won't mind looking insane, talking to herself in the middle of rain. Who cares about what other people say, she's in her world and no one around her understand a single thing on what she's going through.

No Yuri or Yena that would cheer her up, motivate her, tell her what to do, help her in every thing. For now it's just her all alone, dealing with the problem she always get stuck on. A stumbling block that only her can get over. "Look what you did to me Chaewon."

"I already told myself I gave up on you. That I don't want you anymore, and yet I'm still here hoping for a miracle to happen. Expecting for something special, I've never felt this much dumb."

Who knew that she'll get such cruel treatment, for at least she wanted to see the older leave before they completely distance themselves again. A single glance would do her, but now what else can she do? Now that she fell to the pit of despair with no possible escape.

The number of time she felt this way, uncountable, immeasurable, way too much. "I feel played, toyed. Because I thought, I just thought.."

The rain lasted longer than it was suppose to, it went stronger than it was said on the news. If she ever were to go home, what would the purpose be? When all she's going to do is to sulk, overthink, blame herself-- it's already many for a person like her who only did is to love someone special.

"I'm hopeless. All the things we talked, the things we did together." there was a quick flash of memories of them having fun during the one week stay. Their secret talks in midnight, the hidden place for them to see each other and spent time together.

The memories were also many, but the suffering brought topped it. "I should've just buried it to my past, burned it so I won't remember it."

Taps of water dropping to her head as her eyes does the same, it can't be helped. The peak of expectation she had for this day, was as deep as the ground her expectation fell. It's ruining her from the inside and from the outside. "I sound bitter but that doesn't matter anymore, nothing matters to me anymore."

"Not even myself."

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