RESTART

Back Again

The warmth they shared as their hands slowly merged to become one. The coldness of the winter night began to vanish from their hearts. They looked into each other's eyes as they gently placed their foreheads together. A smile ran across their faces, filling them with joy. They shared with one another a world no other could see nor comprehend. The bliss of being together felt as though they were frozen in time. The din of the crowd ebbed and flowed, but in this moment, in their eyes there was only each other.

Solar pecked Moonbyul's lips at the strike of 12 and whispered, "Merry Christmas."

Moonbyul opened her eyes, gently tucked Solar's hair behind her ear and replied with a sweet smile, "Merry Christmas."

"This is our first Christmas together, what should we do?" Solar questioned cutely. "What does a couple normally do on Christmas?" She looked at Moonbyul for an answer.

"It doesn't matter what we do as long as I have you," she said sweetly. "You're the only love and happiness I need. Seeing you smile is enough for me." She pulled Solar closer.

"But it's a special day. I want to make it unforgettable," she pouted.

"Then what do you want to do?" she teased, "Your wish is my command."

"Hmm—" Solar smiled devilishly. She leaned in closer, ran her fingers up Moonbyul's jacket, and wrapped her arms around Moonbyul's shoulders. In an instant, she pulled their bodies closed enough that their lips almost touched. "Then," she spoke slowly and mischievously, "would you like to come with me to that place over there?" She signaled slightly with her head to the right.

Moonbyul glanced at the indicated direction and saw something from the corner of her eyes. It made her blush, causing her heartbeat to race. She could taste the sweat from the corner of her lips as her nervousness slowly began to show. "I-If that's what you want, b-but don't you think w-we're moving a little t-too fast?"

"Hmm." She raised an eyebrow. "I think we're too slow," she teasingly whispered into Moonbyul's ear, "Don't you think so?"

Moonbyul's face was turning redder by the second. She took a moment to compose herself before declaring, "Alright, let's go!" She grabbed Solar's hand and headed towards the bright pink Neon sign that read 'Love Hotel.'

Solar smiled secretly as she watched Moonbyul's serious expression. The destination was within her grasp, Moonbyul could feel her excitement overflowing. She could imagine herself confidently walking through the front door, her lover in one hand and a beautiful night in the other. Just then, a force snapped her back to reality and pulled her towards a less fascinating store front, but one which should have crossed her mind to begin with.

"We're here, let's go ice skating!" Solar declared sweetly.

Moonbyul looked up at the sign and was speechless at her misunderstanding. Solar chuckled softly before she spoke, "You look disappointed, was this not what you wanted?" She tried to suppress her laughter, but it was hard not to laugh, watching Moonbyul's reaction.

"N-no, it's not," she responded without hesitation. "I-I mean it is, it is." She caught herself and smiled nervously. She didn't want Solar to figure out what went through her head mere moments ago. She felt embarrassed and tried to hide her face. Solar could read Moonbyul like a book so there was nothing Moonbyul could hide from her.

"Great! Let's go in then!"

She took Moonbyul's hand and headed into the skating rink. They stopped by the reception to pick out their ice skates. Solar glanced through the selections to choose the perfect pair for them. As she was looking, she burst out laughing because she couldn't hold it in anymore.

Moonbyul on the other hand was trying to regain her demeanor, pretending nothing had happened. When Solar began laughing, she realized she had fallen prey to the sweet Solar's devilish teasing once more. She looked over at Solar, sighed and shook her head, giving a smile to indicate she had accepted her defeat. She placed one arm around Solar's waist, picked up their skates, and headed for the rink. On the way, they bumped into someone.

They turned around and apologized. Solar bowed, feeling she was partly to blame. That encounter had snapped her back into reality. The couple reminded her of her past, almost as if it was playing out before her. A past so vivid she could recount the smallest detail. The warm embrace; the slight gestures; the unforgettable smile; they had carved their marks upon her heart. It was a past she should have already forgotten. A past filled with happiness and pain, but one she was unable to let go. She smiled wryly and gripped the slack of clothing in front of her chest, a sense of relief and sadness overwhelmed her.

I haven't seen her in three years, she sighed sullenly. Byul ah— She watched the couple, who were enjoying themselves on the skating rink. Even though it brought her loneliness, she couldn't look away. Why did I walk the path I took five years ago? She glanced around, we spent our first Christmas here. The decorations haven't changed much.

I can't stop thinking about the time we spent here. How happy we were. She closed her eyes, the images of their memories flashed through her mind. I never thought I would be here without you. Her tears were beginning to form at the tips of her eyes. I thought I could move on after I left for the state. Was I wrong? She smiled wryly. Why did I come here? Why did I follow the memories I buried deep within my heart? D-do I want to see her again? She held her hand to her chest. The pain still lingers even after all this time. She clasped her hands together as if she was praying to erase all the sadness.

"Miss, are you alright? Can I offer you any assistance?" The cashier snapped her out of her trance.

"Thank you for the kind offer. I must get going, have a good evening." She greeted him hurriedly and left. As she stepped outside, the cold wind wrapped its claws around her, freezing her already cold heart. The warmth of those hands from her past that she couldn't forget; she was too afraid to reach out towards them. Afraid of hurting and getting hurt by such warmth again. "I came back Byul-ah, I'm back but—" she paused for a moment. "Are we ready to face each other again?"