Desert Flower

What to Live For

   Sitting up, I rubbed my eyes and looked around. Furrowing my brows, I saw that I was no longer in the forest and was instead in some bed. Flinging off the blanket, I swung my legs over the edge of the bed and stood.

  ....I was in the hospital. Rubbing the back of my head, I found that my hair was down too, and the last thing I remembered was falling asleep on Shirikoba's head. Sighing, I figured that old man probably dropped me off here or something. After spending weeks straining my chakra, that was probably why I was here.

  Walking towards the door, I paused while reaching for it. There were bandages around my wrist. Out of curiosity, I peeked under the bandages and remembered Kami-sama's bite as I saw black marks on my skin. Taking off the wrap, I saw that the wounds were no longer bleeding, nor did they look like wounds at all.

  Holding my wrist up toward the light, it just looked like a tattoo of a bite mark.

  "That's one way to seal the deal." I mumbled before my stomach grumbled loudly. "Food...." Lumbering into the hallway, I glanced around. There was no one in sight, and I just chose a direction I thought food might be in. Sniffing, there was something delicious smelling in that direction.

  My stomach growled even louder, and I closed my eyes to heighten my sense of smell. Following it, I turned the corner and navigated the halls. I didn't even think twice about how I didn't come across anyone at all and was only focused on the promise of a meal.

  The closer I got, however, the hungrier I became. There was something strange about how my stomach growled and how good whatever I smelled was. I was drooling, and it felt like my stomach was near to eating itself.

  Slamming open a door, it was then that I finally realized that this hunger wasn't mine alone but Kami-sama's as well. The bite on my wrist itched, and I knew this hunger had to be sated before I went mad and fed without control.

  "Hungry...."

  "....It's you." The redhead looked back at me with his emotionless face. The boy he had fought during the preliminaries was out cold in the bed as he was wrapped in sand.

  "What are you doing?" I wiped the drool from my chin, managing to keep the hunger at bay for now.

  "I could ask you the same thing." He looked me up and down, then tilted his head. "The monster is hungry again?"

  "....Training has been a real drain lately." I muttered, digging my nails into the doorframe to keep from pouncing on the boy. "I haven't even eaten in a while either...." Gaara glanced back at the boy with big eyebrows.

  "It's hard when you have a monster inside you, isn't it?" His voice was monotone as I covered my mouth and nose. My stomach growled even louder than before, and I knew that delicious smell was coming from the redhead. Using so much chakra to summon Shirikoba must have also used a lot from Kami-sama, and that was probably the reason for this hunger.

  I blinked, and the boy was in front of me. I tried to step back because of how close to the edge I was, but he calmly grabbed the front of my shirt and pulled me into the room. Closing the door behind me, he pulled my hand away from my face and replaced it with his.

  "Is it not frustrating how the monster corrupts you?" He asked as chakra built in his hand. "The isolation, the fear....do you even have a reason to live with what it's done to you?" I couldn't answer with his hand over my mouth and how I was devouring the chakra. I wasn't as crazed as before, so I could actually taste the chakra. It left a light sting on my tongue as it was kind of spicy, but it still tasted good.

  "....Is this strange? You're always so quiet." Seeming to not even think about it, he placed his other hand on top of my head. "I had a dog once." He stated. "But I accidentally killed it when it bit me." His hand was oddly gentle as he pat my head, and he pulled his hand away from my mouth when he deemed I had had enough.

  "Why do you do that?" I questioned while wiping my mouth with my sleeve. "Why do you just give me your chakra?"

  "Because I feel like it." Gaara replied while wiping his hand off on his pants. "And if I didn't....you'd probably do what you did in that forest and attack whoever until you've had your fill."

  "....I haven't lost control though. Not since...." I trailed off, looking down while gently touching the headband tied around my neck.

  "Good for you, I guess." His voice still held no emotion as he looked at me.

  "Gaara....were you going to kill him?"

  "Yes."

  "Why?" I glanced at the boy still wrapped in sand.

  "It's why I'm alive."

  "What?" My brows furrowed.

  "Everyone has a reason why they're alive. Mine is to kill."

  "Do you not realize how ridiculous that sounds?" The boy's expression finally changed in the slightest as he narrowed his eyes. "You're not a machine. No one is only alive to kill."

  "Then explain yourself." He popped off. "Why do you have that ravenous monster inside of you if not to kill? If it's not fed, it kills when it feeds, and we both know that it doesn't have to do so. It chooses to. You are but its vessel."

  "I can't argue with you, I don't even know where I come from, but I do know that as I am now, that's not what I live for."

  "Then what do you live for?" Gaara questioned, and I went quiet. "So you can't even-"

  "At first, I lived because I was just alive. Then, it was because of my friends, but I lost them when they left me. But now....now I live because the monster inside me doesn't want to die. It may be troublesome, but it's a living, breathing thing just like you or me. I'm responsible for it. As things are now, I have to find a way to take care of it properly, and maybe, if what I do works, I can find other reasons to live. Friends, myself, to just enjoy the things the world has to offer, or even love."

  "Friends and love are impossible when you have a monster inside. Once people find out about it, they'll leave you."

  "Not if they're good people or in a similar situation." I replied. "You don't run from me like they did. In fact, you seem to do the opposite." The redhead opened his mouth as if to say something, but didn't. "We could be friends, Gaara. Then won't that give you something else to live for other than killing other people? You won't be so alone either."

  "I'm not lonely!" Gaara raised his voice.

  "You have to be." I stated. "If you think you live to kill, who is there beside you? Who doesn't run from you? Who doesn't fear you? It hurts. I know."

  "Don't look at me like that!" He held his head with one of his hands. "Don't look at me like you can see right through." The boy rushed out of the room, grunting as he held his head as if in pain, and the sand around the other boy followed Gaara out.

  Oddly....talking to the homicidal redhead had put a few things into perspective even for myself.