Not your average Love Story

0.2

Tessa: Finally. I thought you'd never make it to the car.
I lean back in the seat and close my eyes trying to hide my puffy eyes and red face as much as possible.
Tessa: What's wrong? Why're you sitting in the seat like that?
Me: I'm just tired that's all. I'm going to sleep until we get to school if that's alright?
Tessa: Fine with me.
She turns the volume on the radio up and sings to the song currently playing as I lay there trying to wake up from this horrible dream.
~~
I walk into school looking down and avoiding eye contact as much as possible so no one will notice my swollen eyes. No one should notice anyway. I act like this when I walk into this school every single day. Sweat pants, big t-shirt, tennis shoes, and my head looking towards the floor.
But today of course my luck isn't the best and the one person I didn't want to notice me like this does as I bump into her in the hallway.
Saphira, my best friend.
Saphira: Are you going to tell me why your eyes are swollen?
I breathe in deeply trying to collect myself and continue to walk. If I can just say this one sentence without bursting into tears, this day may go differently than I expected. I turn to face her.
Me: Umm *my voice quavering* Me and Marcus might break up. Well we are, but I'm not sure. It's complicated.
It pains me to say it and I quickly look down again away from her face with tears welding in my eyes. The pain in my chest has grown heavier just over these past few moments.
She stares at me in utter silence. She looks at me with her pressing brown eyes trying to find something else beyond what I just said. I'm not sure what she is trying to find and I guess she doesn't either because she gives up quickly.
Saphira: I personally never liked him anyways. He was out of your league and he wasn't smart enough for you. He isn't even cute.
I laugh quick and short before my eyes start tearing up. I quickly wipe them away before she can notice. I appreciate her trying to cheer me up, but words aren't going to help a heart broken like this.
Me: Thanks Saph. But we may be able to work things out this weekend. I'm going to talk to him after his football game on Friday at his house.
Saphira: He should be coming to you. Anyways, I wish you the best, but please don't get your hopes up for this piece of crap. Know your worth. You deserve better.
I sigh and look away. Every breath I take I feel like the weight in my chest gets heavier and heavier. It's only 8 am and I already want this day to be over so I can lay in my bed and cry myself sleep.
~~
I'm sitting at the lunch table with all my friends and I actually start to forget about the heavy weight in my chest. I start laughing at the jokes they're making and join the conversation. It was a mistake.
Stone: So Ari. How're you and Marcus?
Suddenly my appetite goes away. I stare at him with pain in my eyes and the heaviness in my chest returns, but with a lot more pounds added to it. I feel the blood leave my face and I start to breathe sharp, short breaths. I quickly get up from the table and run through the doors and down the hallway into the Vice Principles office.
I barge into the room as she's on the phone and collapse onto her couch. Without hesitation I start to sob my eyes out. This is when I know my eyes are tired of crying because now it even hurts to cry.
She quickly hangs up the phone and sits on the couch beside me and rubs my head.
Ms. Cooper: Would you like to stay in here for the rest of the day? I can have all your work sent up here if you'd like.
I nod my head which is face down into one of her cushions on the couch. She slowly gets up and I hear her typing quickly on the computer. She's probably emailing all my teachers telling them to bring all my class work to her office.
I must've guessed right because 10 minutes later Miss. Voltz brings my lunchbox and all my class work from all my teachers to her office.
Ms. Cooper: Would you like to talk about it?
Me: No-Nooo.
I say shakily before a whimper escapes my lips.
She sighs and sits back at her desk. I can feel her eyes watching me even though I can't see her. She's studying me and trying to find a way to approach the matter at hand. Surprisingly, she approaches it head on.
Ms. Cooper: This is heartbreak plain as day. Whoever did this isn't worth it and you took you for granted. Always remember what you're worth even if—
*buzz buzz*
Her voice fades indistinctly in the background as I see the name pop up on my phone. Marcus.
My heart races as I swipe to open his message and almost immediately my heart drops down to the center of the Earth. I scream out in pain as I read the message and quickly Ms. Cooper is by my side holding and rocking me. She's cradling my head and body like a baby and shushing me. Reassuring me everything is going to be okay, but it isn't going to be okay. At least not after what he said.
Marcus: I've been thinking a lot since last night and our talk on the phone. I've decided that it is best that we just leave us how we are and move on with our lives, separately. If we talk Friday all it's going to do is show me one thing and you another. It'll show how much I need to let you go while it shows you how much you really love me. It isn't fair I know, but this is the best thing for the both of us. You've given me the best months of my life and trust me I would never trade it for anything in the world. One of my main goals was not to make you cry and that night when we got into a fight and I saw you cry it broke my heart into a thousand pieces. That's when I realized you deserve better than me and that's why I have to let you go. I broke my main goal. All I wanted to do was keep you happy and when I failed at that, I failed at us. All I could think about was hurting you and I realized I wasn't good enough for you. So please give me this one last thing and let me leave. Thank you for everything Ariana Skai Lopez. Please take care of yourself.
I drop my phone to the floor and I don't pick it up. I just let Ms. Cooper hold me while I cry. My heart feels like once again it's been shattered into a millions pieces, but much more smaller shards and much more
painful. The hole in my chest feels like it's getting bigger.
I grab for my chest to try and stop the void thats growing theree, but it doesn't help. So I just collapse into Ms. Cooper's arms and before I know it I'm back at home in my bed. I must've fallen asleep in her office from the lack of sleep I got and the dehydration of crying your soul out.
I sigh to myself and that's when the hole in my chest comes back and the weight of world comes crashing back down on my shoulders. I begin to cry again, but this time I fall asleep all through the night.
When I wake up the next morning, I know exactly what I need to do in order to get to Marcus to talk to me. I'm going to go to his football game Friday no matter what and I'm going to get the answers I need. Plus, I just want to see his face again and maybe even touch him again one last time.
My stomach turns at that last thought in my head.
One last time.
That's all it's going to be. The last time. So I better make it count.
Please make it count.