Here we go with the second half of the 95 liners so buckle up
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The shoot was going smoothly, the group shots had been taken and now it was Lunchbreak after that the members would each be called individually for their solo shoots.
Yoongi was sitting on the couch eating with the others, well the others were eating while he sometimes grabbed a piece of fruit and took sips of water, but Yoongi noticed that he wasn't the only one consuming so little food, Jimin was also avoiding the food.
„Jimin-ah what did I say at breakfast ?" He asked, yeah jimin was smart but he could be forgetful „Hyung do I really have to ?" Jimin asked „are you really gonna make me tell jin an namjoon ?" Yoongi threatened.
„N-no but seriously Hyung you're not much better, look at how skinny you've become" Jimin tried to defend himself, Yoongi was actually already livid, having Dak-ho molest him not even an hour earlier and now having jimin tell him that he was skinny, which he still didn't believe, was making him really angry especially since Yoongi knew if he didn't get jimin to eat something the Younger wouldn't do so and think is okay to starve himself again, Yoongi would NOT allow that.
„Park Jimin, you know exactly why I get skinnier during comebacks, Not because I starve myself but because I am stressed, and yes we all are but not eating is not going to help with getting skinner, and you know that, now suck it up and eat something, you're perfect and don't even think for a second I'm going to let you do this to yourself a second time" Yoongis voice was low and threatening, something he usually didn't use with the other members, especially the Maknaes.
Jimin was slightly taken aback at his normally soft hyungs harsh tone, yeah sure he was being unreasonable and wanting to be perfectly skinny but his mind made it look like Yoongi was mad at him for something normal, so he did what anyone would do in this situation, he stood up pushed Yoongi off the couch and started yelling at him, okay maybe not everyone would've done that but jimin thought it was the right thing to do in that moment.
„Shut up! You may be my Hyung but that doesn't mean you can speak to me any way you like, fuck you and your perfectly skinny body just because you're a tiny bit stressed other than you I actually have to watch what to eat so I don't end up looking like a pig you asshole!"he yelled out making everyone look at him.
Immediately the five other boys swarmed jimin and cuddled him murming things like „calm down" or „it's alright", Yoongi took the Opportunity and grabbed namjoon after standing up, the leader seemed really pissed at Yoongi but he continued anyway „Namjoon-Ah he isn't eating again" was all he had to say for namjoon to put his full focus on jimin, who was still being smothered.
„Hyung what did you say to him, just look at him" Jungkook accused being followed up by Jin „seriously Yoongi-ah why do you make these guys feel bad all the time, first Tae now jimin, what did they do to you" his only Hyung spät the sentence with venom that could kill an elephant.
„I'm sorry I only wanted him to eat" Yoongi apologized, e actually didn't do anything wrong jimin was just being mean.
„Excuses excuses" Jin said rolling his eyes before he returned to the pile of boyfriends reassuring jimin that he was perfect, Yoongis heart broke, not because jimin was hurting, no this time it was because he himself was feeling the withdrawal of love and affection, the lack of praise or encouragement that he had once gotten, it was to much and he just had to leave, he had to.
This is how he found himself alone in a bathroom picking at the scabs of his wounds, he hadn't taken any blades with him so he hoped this would be enough, but everything was just so suffocating, he backed into a corner in one of the stalls and let loose.
Yoongi POV
Everything was hazy, I couldn't breathe, I wanted to scream, shout, beg for someone, anyone to help me, yet nothing came out of my throat, I could hear the voices again....
Waste of space
Useless making everyone feel bad
Horribly annoying
Why can't you just leave
WE HATE YOU!
Leave us alone
We don't need you
We're happy without you
You cant do anything right
You're a failure
Why would we love such a fat ugly talentless pig
It wasn't the usual voice no no! It was the voices of his bandmates, Lovers supposed boyfriends who shoved him aside any chance they had gotten, the didn't need him anymore, no one needed him....
There was another voice though it was tiny and small, sounding like himself
You're such a burden, why are you alive ?
Pathetic can't even control yourself
Get away
Slit your wrists or stab yourself
Die
Die!!
DIE!!
You
I wish Was never born
I
I'm usless, a failure, I should t be here, why am I alive ?!
3rd POV
Yoongi was hyperventilating, he was having a panic attack, sobbing in the tiny corner ob the bathroom, the onslaught of his thoughts was just too much, he couldn't keep going he didn't want to keep going, he was half sure the boys hated him at this point, but only half, of he was fully sure he'd have just run up to the roof and let himself get pancaked on the sidewalk.
His breathing had become so bad he was beginning to see black overtake his vision before everything completely dissapeared.
Why is it me ?
Time skip - after Yoongi came back and try finished the shoot - Bangtang dorms
Yoongi flopped himself onto his bed and curled into it, his stomach cramped painfully, after he had awoken from the panic attack this afternoon, he proceeded to vomit out his guts into the once clean porcelain bowl he had passed out next to.
He curled in on himself and almost started sobbing, he didn't want this anymore, what the others must have forgotten was that Yoongi is also human, he too craved loving touches and words of affection, but all he got were glares, insults, accusations, and harming punches or kicks.
He laid there for a while still, just spacing out in his own head until he finally succumbed to the bit of life he loved more than anything at this point, sleep.
But only to be woken up a few hours later to the peculiar sound of .....
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Im so evil for doing this forgive meeeee but I'm planning on writing the last chapter/s before the climax today/tomorrow cause I got a day off school.
Anyways this chapter is a bit shorter and not really focused much on Yoongi helping jimin, for one because I imagine jimin being the type to get all aggressive and angry and just avoid confrontation when it's about his weight and two, well i haven't really been that into jimin, it's doesn't mean I don't like him!
I love all the boys It's just Jimin is cute and all but I prefer something with bite like Yoongi.
Again that's just my preference, I still drool over Jimin every time I watch 'no more dream'.
That's about it, I hope you enjoy reading my lovely bonbons, it would be super sweet if you left a vote/comment/follow or just anything in general, that's it, Stay safe
Bonbons 🍬 cyaaaa~
-Liyra
YOU ARE READING
Fading away || {Yoongi x BTS}
Fanfic"Yoongi stop making so many mistakes" That's isn't what Hoseok said but his brain sure made it sound like that "Just fucking stay in your studio and rot in there until you die" Isn't even close to what Namjoon has said but his depression infused br...
