Fading away || {Yoongi x BTS}

Chapter 3 {Namjoon}

In the studio - Yoongis POV

When we arrived at the studio Namjoon booted up his computer while I sat myself down onto the sofa, I was lost in thought but was broken out by joon speaking up.

"Hyung... I actually didn't only bring you to listen to the song, I wanted to tell you something, rather personal, something that's been on my mind for a while" he said, oh boy, his voice wasn't as cheerful as usual, what happened now.

"Go ahead joon, you know hyungs here to listen"

The only thing you're decent at as well

You see Namjoon had the habit of bottling up his concerns for the sake of us others, sound familiar ?, anyways I'm happy he wants to tell me something like that.

"Hyung, we've talked about... you know you're mental state before, and well, um, with all the negative things and all the antis out there I've, Ive been starting to feel more down, like what you described as your dark days back then, it's just, i don't know Hyung I sometimes just feel really down because we get so much hate and start to question why I even became an idol" Joon said.

I know those things all too well, when my depression, pre-debut, had it out for me on a day I would frequently think those things as well, not saying it got any better in fact it's gotten worse, and I hate to think that Joon may be depressed as well, fuck what now, what now ...

"Namjoon-ah, you probably won't like what I'm about to say but I think you might have developed depression, don't get me wrong,  I'm in no way a psychiatrist but, what you just said was pretty close to some things I've thought in the past" I hope I didn't upset him...

3rd POV

Namjoon sat there for a minute processing what his Hyung has just said, depression, he had though of it as a possible explanation for his dark thoughts already, but always brushed it off thinking there was no way he could have a mental illness from one day to another but when he thought back he remembered that it wasn't just there and smacked him in the face suddenly, he remembered how it started out slowly as thinking bad things because he believed the mean comments and people telling lies, then it slowly creeped to a tiny voice that would speak up here an there because he deemed something as bad, he hadn't even thought to question said voice.

"Hyung... I, you might be right, holy, I- shit i don't know what to do" Namjoon stated, he was at a loss what to do now he couldn't comprehend the situation that he may be depressed just like his Hyung was- is.

"It's alright Joon, you know we'll all be there for you, and there's a lot of specialists here in Seoul" Yoongi said to try and reassure the younger.

Namjoon took a deep breath and looked at his hyungs face, he was stunned to see that Yoongi was smiling kindly at him, that kind of smile that made you want to get embraced by that person and cry all your fears and feelings out to them so they could reassure you everything would be okay.

"Hyung will I- you know, do what you did before debut ?" Namjoon asked in a quiet voice, he was slightly ashamed for asking this but he had to know, "that depends Joonie, I did it because it had already become a habit of mine before I was even a trainee, but you're strong, stronger than I was back then, and you have people, don't forget that, we're here to help you, I know you won't end like I ended up back then, you don't have to go through this alone, remember that and let us help you, I'm sure the others will understand" Yoongis reply satisfied Namjoon as he inched closer to embrace his Hyung.

After the two pulled away from the hug Yoongi wiped away a stray tear that had fallen down Namjoons face during their conversation, the younger of the two smiled at this.

"Now about that song ..."

Time skip - 2 AM - BTS dorm

Yoongi came home way later than Namjoon, after he helped the leader with his song he said to him to go home while he finished some work in his studio, true to his word he finished two songs and sent them in so They could work on the lyrics days later, although that voice came back about halfway into his work an persuaded him that the songs were crappy and probably wouldn't even be heard more than once before being thrown out.

Of course he punished himself for making crappy music when everyone else was so hard working.

He walked into the Dorm and quietly went Into his room, there he saw that apparently Namjoon had gone to Jin after he was home, because the younger was currently cuddling with the groups Hyung, Yoongi wanted to coo because of how cute they were, but he didn't want to risk waking his Hyung since he was a very light sleeper.

He went to put his bag down onto his bed but found it already occupied, he pulled the duvet down slightly to see that indeed, there was a curled up Maknae sleeping in his bed, he briefly wondered why the youngest was in his bed and not cuddling with Tae like he is usually would but brushed the thought of because he was simply too tired to care, he put his bag next to his closet, grabbed some pajamas, quietly changed into them and went into the Livingroom to sleep on the couch,sure it wasn't the most elegant nor comfortable situation but it beat accidentally pushing Jungkook out of the bed with his fat body.

After he settled on the couch he stared off into space thinking until he eventually drifted off to sleep at about 3, their schedule that day would begin at around 5 so he was praying to sleep until then...

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Hi Bonbons, I've returned, and changed quite a few things, well now lemme explain what I've got planned, from here on out, I'm planning on updating this story once every two weeks at the least, I'll also have a chapter dedicated to Yoongi helping each member with their struggles and... Hmm. No I won't say that just yet wouldn't want to spoil the storyline too much now would we ;)), anyways I hope you enjoyed the chapter
Stay sweet ba bai
-Liyra