Seeking Stars In Your Eyes

☆Twenty-Six☆

Gray and Natsu were comfortable with each other.  The thing is that when you're best friends with someone you become attached and comfortable with that person.  If you end up crushing on said friend, your thinking changes, your heart starts to ache. You get more nervous, and if your in Gray and Natsu's position and in a fresh relationship you have to get comfortable. That can be challenging, you risk the possibility of forever changing your friendship. That can end well or not. 

Dating is scary, the fact is, you either stay together forever, stay in love forever. Or, you break up. If a couple breaks up they might be able to rekindle their lost friendship, or depending on the situation, you end up hating each other for all eternity.  Happy possibilities right? So it is no wonder people are afraid of dating, love, and romantic feelings in general. 

Gray and Natsu had been best friends for a very long time. Natsu was afraid of losing Gray's friendship and ruining thier friendship. Gray was in denial about loving Natsu for a while, then, he too, became afraid. Natsu and Gray managed to find themselves engulfed in thier love for one another and acted on impulse. Impulses that created thier relationship in the first place.

And that means they have to get comfortable again with each other- in a new way. That was where Gray found himself. Gray found himself at home in Natsu's arms after a nightmare. Gray had red puffy eyes and tears streaking down his face. You could see the tear mark that dried on his cheek. Natsu pulled Gray onto his lap facing him, drying his tears. 

"Shh, It's okay," Natsu whispered concerned.
Gray made a small whimpering noise.

Natsu leaned back on the couch and cradled Gray in his arms. 

"Do you want to talk about it?" Natsu's voice was heavily laced with concern.

"She-she...," Gray sputtered out before full-on bawling.

"Hey, Hey, It's okay. Cry, Cry your heart out." Natsu kissed his cheek and wiped his tears.

Gray buried his face in Natu's neck, "I...I saw her die, again and again. Every time she blamed me, and It was my fault-" 

"It is not your fault. You could not have stopped her, and she didn't just die for you, she died to protect everyone. It was her own choice, Gray. You are not to blame, and I would bet she does not blame you, or Leon, or anyone really. She did what she needed to help everyone."  Natsu assured him.

"But I could have sacrificed myself-"

"Don't say that! You were a kid, I don't think you could have performed Iced shell. I don't think she would have let you even if you did. She wouldn't let you sacrifice yourself, I wouldn't. Rember when you tried to use iced shell? I punched you because I didn't want you to die. I'm not letting you sacrifice yourself and I don't think Ur would have either." Natsu scolded, as his heart ached at the memory.

"Did you love me back then?" Gray sniffled looking in his eyes.

"I...I honestly think I did but I just hadn't acknowledged it yet." Natsu smiled sadly and hugged him tightly, "Even If I didn't love you I still would have done the same thing" 

"That's because that is just who you are, you would sacrifice yourself for any of your friends and stop them from sacrificing themselves. But know, I won't stand you sacrificing your self." Gray took a breath shakily. 

"Understandable," Natsu sighed, "Either way, It is not your fault and you could not have done anything. I believe Ur would agree." 

"Not like we could talk to her without doing dark magic, so we can't get her opinion." Gray sighed.

Natsu instantly stiffened and his eyes popped.

"What is it?" Gray hesitated.

"That is not entirely true. Every year I go to visit my sister's grave and talk to her through this thing called the resurrection flower." Natsu worded it carefully, "It is not dark magic, In fact, it is a religious myth from Faytopian. I don't know if it will work for Christians and the flower only blooms once a month at midnight." 

Gray sputtered, "Why didn't you say anything about this before- do you know how many people could use that?" 

Natsu sighed.

"Because Faytopian is an old religion, and it is not popular anymore. A lot of people hate that religion discrediting it as just fairy tales and fables. Myths. People are killed because they believe in it. Monotheistic and Henothisitc religions are a lot more common than polytheistic religion." Natsu crossed his arms.

"But from what I know about Faytopian religion isn't rather peaceful? How is it that people hate something so peaceful?" Gray furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.

"So is Judaism and look at WW2," Natsu rolled his eyes, "Humans have proved time and time again that thier souls don't need love or compassion to exist."

"But there are so many people with love and compassion in their souls!" Gray exclaimed.

"We don't even know if souls exist, Gray. I know a lot of people do, but there are just as many people capable of hate. Nobody is pure evil or completely pure. One can't exist without the other." Natsu grabbed his hair.

"Society is progressing! So is the rest of the world! Life is beautiful." Gray thought about how much good is being done in the world.

"Then why are we destroying it? Nature and wildlife are things we need to survive yet all we've done is ruin the earth! As much as society progresses, we are also degressing in other parts of the world. Gray, I've lost faith in humanity. That is part of the reason I joined Fairy Tail, I can't trust humanity to undo what we have done so I may as well try to stop it. If I leave it to humanity nothing is going to happen. Greed runs wild through those in power, someone needs to stop them. People are afraid of people in power, that's why no one steps up. Power changes people too. Gray, I have lost faith in humanity. Life may be beautiful but like everything that is beautiful it's tied to bad things." Natsu rambled on.

"Natsu..." Gray whispered surprised.

"Whatever Gray, I love you but if you're going to restore my faith in humanity, you're going to have to pull off a miracle. Anyways, do you want to go to the fucking flower next week or not? It blooms next week," Natsu's tone was harsh.

"Yea." Gray looked down.

"Gray, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have been so harsh it is not your fault. I just-"

"No, it's okay. You were honest. I don't know how to restore your faith in humanity but I'm glad you told me that stuff." 

Gray and Natsu snuggled into each other in silence.