This book is practically a diary over the course of a couple of years...
I put off writing for a while because I'm going through a pretty rough patch atm.
My feelings are incredibly manic, currently depressive.
I've never been good at it but I've gotten better at being open about how I feel about certain people. There's this one person who I have a brief history with and has been raising some flags lately that I'm not sure how to address, so naturally I wanted to confide in friends to give advice and trust them to tell me off if I was just being stupid.
Thing is, no matter how good a friend they are, I have trust issues because of childhood experiences and I'm slightly paranoid about my words being misconstrued as they so commonly are.
The person raising said flags has said they were informed of someone's true feelings towards them and if I'm correct and it is me, it sound a lot like someone has inaccurately portrayed my opinions and questions to this person.
This does a couple things.
It one, makes me feel pretty shitty; the things I said aren't things I would have trouble being honest about to the "flag person" but I can't help but feel uneasy about it. I think
I'm always worried even if I hate a person, that my words will be misconstrued and I ABSOLUTELY HATE when others speak my opinions for me. Just don't.
Lastly it creates a sense of doubt that I don't need.
Idk now others deal with this coz it doesn't happen often but it kinda makes me sad I have trouble confiding in people and though I'd like to be honest, it takes good timing and articulation, someone speaking for me on their own accord screws that up a lot.
YOU ARE READING
Surpassing myself
RandomWhen my mind can't surpass its own labyrinth of confusion and anxiety I'll jot down my peculiar thoughts in hope of relief. A culmination of some lighthearted outlooks as well as some fairly deep ones that I hope are of some use to many.
