Something About You

31

STEF's POV

    I walked back to our apartment feeling devastated for having screamed at Lena and devastated for feeling ambushed. God how I wish certain things were different. If only my soon to be wife could understand that there is a reason I never talk about the topic "family"... It wasn't even that I didn't talk about family, I did. Just my mom and her side of the family, never my dad. 

    It took me a few hours to get back home because I just wanted to vent. I also left my phone in the apartment so I wouldn't be bothered but I was wearing my Apple Watch so I received notifications from Lena's texts anyway.

    "Sorry. Please come home so I can apologize properly."

    "Babe, I really am sorry."

    But I realized she'd stopped texting me and I wondered what she was up to. Maybe she really was just giving me space. But probably not. I stated worrying that she would be crying and feeling extremely sad over a topic that we just didn't talk about much in all the months we've been together. I had personally always avoided it and I tried to live through Lena's family - even though I'd only just met them, they showed us more support than my father ever did. 

    Of course, with my mother, it was a different story. She'd always treated me right and talked to me about relationships and girls ever since I came out, when I was still a teenager. And that's when I lost all my father's respect. I'd already lost some when I decided to tell him I didn't want to be a doctor or a lawyer, then I lost some more when I chose journalism - when I was a teen - and let's just say the sexuality was just the cherry on top.

    I sighed as I opened the door. I didn't know what I was going to find when I got home, that's true, but I certainly didn't expect to find Lena in this current situation.

    "I'm sorry," she said, tears running down her face while she held an empty bottle of wine.

    I could sense she was drunk, but not too drunk. "You downed all this yourself?"

    "Yeah, sorry. And another one. I can go buy another bottle now if you want-" she said, standing up from the couch with little balance.

    "Nope. It's fine," I headed to our bathroom to take a shower. Lena followed me.

    "I was just trying to help," she started.

    I nodded. "I know your intentions were good. They always are. But there are some things that, well, I prefer not to talk about much. Mainly family."

    Lena shrugged. "It just felt weird to me, us getting married and your family not there to see it."

    "Believe me, Lena, it's best that way. Dad's homophobic. I can't have someone who doesn't respect me walk in on the most important day of my life acting like they deserved a spot there. I will not give him that satisfaction." I affirmed. 

    Lena sighed. "I didn't know you felt so strongly about this." No shit, Sherlock. Me not wanting to talk about it in all the months we've been together could've given you some idea. 

    "As strongly as he feels about his beliefs," I nodded. 

    "Right. I'm sorry, I feel like all we do is fight lately." Lena said, whining. "I hate fighting with you and ever since you proposed to me we've been fighting so much more. Like, I don't get it. You know?"

    "What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" I ask, intrigued and worried about what I thought I was listening. "That I shouldn't have proposed?" 

    "No! You know what, I'm super wasted. Can we talk more after I've had a nap and a shower?" She said. 

    I tried to be patient. I really did. But this was getting on my nerves and as much as I loved Lena, I wasn't feeling very loved right now.

    I shook my head. "You are unbelievable sometimes. Unbelievable." 

    I stood up and decided to go for a run. I changed into my running outfit and left a sleepy and careless Lena in our bedroom. I just hoped that, when I got back, she would be more sober and we would be able to have an actual conversation.  And honestly? She doesn't wanna marry me, that's fine by me. It's really fucking fine. As long as I make it very clear that she accepted the proposal and that I didn't force her to marry me either, she can do whatever she wants for all I care.

    Fuck her. We can break this thing off at the same speed we started it.  

    AN: Thoughts?