HELLO LOVELIES!!
I GRADUATE THIS WEEK SO MORE UPDATES SHOULD BE COMIMG MORE FREQUENTLY. AS ALWAYS PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE COMMENT AND VOTE! I LOVE YOU ALL AND YOUR SUPPORT MEANS THE WORLD TO ME ❤️
-Dani
Jayde
Hours later, after all the guests have left, I had a pow-wow session with both mine and Harry's family and the kids are fast asleep, the yard is finally beginning to be cleaned. I haven't spoken a word to Harry since I returned back outside after my little talk with Jenna. Everyone has been keeping their distance from the pair if I'm being completely honest; because although no one agrees with their marriage no one dares to bring it up as it is so fresh.
Family helped take down and clean up most the decorations and bounce house so all that's left to do is to clean the house. Presents scatter the floor and platters are littered all over the counters. I maneuver around Harry and everytime we come close, I'm sure to create a bubble of space so their no chance that there can be any interaction.
After the proposal and our talk, Jenna stayed in the house obviously knowing everyone who attended was furious with her little surprise on the kids birthday; very few were excited or even supportive. Only reason no one lashed out on her because it was the twins birthday and kids filled the entire yard.
It was in her best interest to stay hidden until everyone left but earlier she drove off and hasn't returned.
Now, the kids are asleep in their beds upstairs after an emotionally drained day, and Harry and I silently move throughout the kitchen. Every so often I see him eyeing me or wanting to say something but in those moments I place myself on the opposite side of the room or completely remove myself all the way. I don't have it in me to have this conversation with him, not now when my emotions are still and have been hyped up for a while and I know I'd cry any second.
As I wash the dishes up he makes his way to the other sink and begins to rinse and dry them off. "It's fine I got it." He doesn't answer, he continues to pick the dishes up one by one, dries it off with the damp towel and places it on the counter besides him. "Jayde we need to talk."
And here we go.
"What is it that we need to talk about Harry, you've made your intentions crystal clear so I don't understand what else needs to be said. You and I both know how this talk is about to go and I'm not here for it. We've been having way too many of these and they don't get us anywhere. I end up with all these broken promises and dreams while you're digging yourself into a deeper hole each time. I'm not going down this road with you Harry, and you're not taking me down it either."
"This was as unexpected for me just as it was for everyone else, I was put on the spot and didn't know what to do. Part of me is like I can do this shit and possibly see a future with Jenna, but the other half of me knows that I will never be able to commit fully if I were married to her-"
"Commitment isn't in your vocabulary, you've never committed to shit in your entire damn life Harry. But I mean like she said, on paper y'all are the perfect couple. Everything you've ever wanted you'd be able to have it with her so why be hesitant now when you've never been in the past?" He sets the towel onto the counter and shifts his body to face mine.
"The hesitant is you. You're the reason why I told her I couldn't give her an answer right there but she played it off like I said yes. And do you want to know why I couldn't give her a full answer?" I nod my heading but deep down know the exact reason.
"I told her no because I'm still in love with you. Because when she asked me to marry her, I imagined myself standing at the alter, at my wedding, watching a bride walk down the aisle in the most beautiful white dress I've ever seen while holding the hand of her father. And the girl walking down the aisle wasn't Jenna, Jayde. That girl was you, with the brightest smile on your face, the most breathtaking and content I've ever seen you in my entire life and in that moment, I was at my happiest. That's the reality that I see myself in. I wasn't fucking with your head when I told you that you and I having a real family was a dream I have dreamt of constantly. I really meant that shit man."
