camila cabello • one-shots & imagines ♡

he's not you (alt. ending)

hi everybody! long time no see! i know i've been quite inactive and originally, i wasn't going to come back. i have been going through a lot of new life experiences where i'm learning and growing but i remember how happy it made me to write out my feelings in a different way. wattpad gave that to me and i do realize that a good amount of you are still around.

i remember how some of you were upset with how forgiving (y/n) was in my one-shot he's not you which is published in this book so i felt like i had to be the extra type and write this alternate ending for you to enjoy. it's sad as fuck but i hope that it pleases some of you.

i love you. thank you for reading my shit lmao.

- emma :)

------ [begin] ------

[You ever miss somebody so much that you feel numb? Like, every part in your body is screaming without literally screaming? If so, that's how I'm feeling now. In this time of my life. I'm sure I'll have plenty of these in the future, but damn is it painful. It's as if I'm clawing out of this cage that doesn't unlock.]

(Y/N) writes, scribbling her words with permanent ink. Her dry eyes stare at the paper in her hands as she keeps her legs tucked in to act as a temporary table. Rain splattered against her window pane yet nothing could be seen, not even the stars in the night sky. Anything that was easily seen was gone as if it were an empty canvas.

It seemed like this image remained in (Y/N)'s mind for the past year or so. That was just the estimate for how long Camila had gone with ignoring (Y/N).

[What a waste of precious time, thinking about the one person that you thought would never break you but did. Everyone says she's a waste of energy, that she doesn't deserve you. But now, here I am, thinking... could it have been me that doesn't deserve her? It must've been me that had done something wrong, she literally chose to ignore me.]

"(Y/N), dear, would you like some tea?" a voice called, the sound of the door creaking open to make the gentle words become more coherent.

(Y/N) looked up, not recognizing the tears that had stuck to her cheeks. But it was dark, she only kept the bedside lamp on. She hoped that her emotions could only be noticed by her and not by anybody else. Her act of being vulnerable was a private show.

"No, I'm okay. Thank you Mom. I'll be going to sleep anyways, brushed my teeth and everything..."

"Okay, my precious girl. Sleep well, okay?"

"Yeah, I will. I love you."

"I love you too."

The door clicks shut and (Y/N) returns to peer down at her thoughts, smeared with the salt that swelled from her eyes and fought for clear validation. Nothing about love was validated - love was rough, it was jagged. Was there really such thing as a happy ending?

Peeling away the blankets, (Y/N) just sighs and shudders at the revelation of cool wood beneath her bare feet. A feeling not possibly colder than that of Camila's heart.

"I'll write another time, all of these thoughts aren't going to make sleep any easier for me tonight..." (Y/N) closes her journal and sets it aside, reaching for the sliding door to her balcony. As soon as she rolled it open, the chorus of crickets echoed in her ears and suddenly she didn't feel so alone anymore.

From standing to leaning against her balcony's railing, (Y/N) kept her arms crossed against her chest. She sniffled at the brief moment of weakness she felt but also from the crisp, autumn air that filled her lungs. She recalled the night of intimacy she shared with Camila as if she'd seen it in a movie.