Peter Parker Imagines

Depressed

WARNINGS: suicidal, depression (i dont have depression and dont know what it feels like. if any one of you have problems, my PMs are always open. i suck at giving advice but i'll do my best <33 i love yall and enjoy)

Words: 2421
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PETERS POV:
I walked down the halls. My backpack slumped on my shoulders as I looked down. My hoodie slightly larger than my regular size.

I opened my locker. It was empty like usual. All of the sudden, I felt someone pressing me against the lockers located next to mine. I look at the person and see Flash. He raises an eyebrow at me. I keep a straight face. "Where's my homework Parker?!" He grits through his teeth. I sigh and grab his book out of my backpack. I hand it over to him. He slowly let's go of me. "Next time, you're making twice as much," He snatches the book from my hand and walks off. I let out a deep breath and pretend nothing had happened. I place my books inside my locker and kept what I needed in my backpack.

"Hey, Peter," I hear Y/N greet me. I turn around and force a smile at her. She smiles back, not noticing my pain. "How are you? I mean, with exams coming up and stuff. It's very stressful. I had like 3 mental breakdowns this week due to stress but I'm good now! I'm confident in my study abilities so let's hope I smash these exams!" She chuckles softly as her eyes were closed while doing so. I gave her another half-smile, but this one felt more genuine. "Anyways, my mom wants me to shop for prom or some. Not happening. I'm just going to order online. It's easier," She shrugs. I nod. A silence fell between us. I stared at the ground, blushing heavily. "Sooo, you haven't answered my question yet... What's up with you?" She asks me, trying to start a conversation. I shrug. "Nothing much. Just did a bit of studying, helped my aunt with some cleaning, the usual, ya know?" I reply simply. She nods. "Sounds boring," She giggles and starts to walk with me towards out next class. "That's my life," My voice was groggy and I knew I was tired. Sleeping wasn't something that occurred in my schedule. I usually lay down and stare up at the ceiling as I feel myself falling deeper into this dark hole.

Oh, I haven't told you have I? I've been diagnosed with depression. Weird right? Happy Peter Parker has depression. I used to be happy. Before... everything happened. My aunt has been helping me through it and she's the best, but I can't seem to get out of it. I used to be this ray of sunshine and now I'm just this dark, black spot that walks around depressed and lonely. I mean, I pity myself for it.

I haven't told anyone. Not even Y/N. I mean, she would just be embarrassed to hangout with me. I knew that. I'm so in love with her it's crazy. It would hurt to see her walk out of my life so I kept everything to myself. I also haven't told Ned who I trust, but lately he's been distancing himself from me. He's been hanging out with Betty a lot more. It just feels like he's moved on. He's grown up. I haven't. I'm still here. Waiting until I'm fine. Will there ever even be a time where I'm feeling the slightest bit of happiness. I just feel so alone. Y/N and May is all I have left, maybe Ned but I feel like he just doesn't care anymore.

After my uncle Ben and my other father figure, Tony Stark, had passed away, I felt lost to be honest, but I had Y/N, Ned, May, Happy and MJ, until everyone absolutely hated Spider-Man. Everyone despised him. People were talking about how I apparently terrorized a city, what never happened. People believed it though and wanted to kill me. Happy had fired me and took my suit. I didn't have anything left. MJ broke up with me because I was too sad. I had lost almost everything. It went to the point I wanted to kill myself. The only thing I had was Ned, Y/N and May, but like I said... Ned had slowly turned against me and now only Y/N was here with me at school. Flash bullies me even more than before and I don't even know what to do.

I used to be positive until I couldn't handle it anymore. Every week I have to go to a psychologist for my mental health. May can barely pay rent and yet she pays so much for this stupid treatment.