WARNINGS: when ur joergen is goneee mhmmm yeahh, and U ONLY HAVE UR SVENN MHMMMM YEAHH
(this is really dark and heavy and sad and inspired by the notebook cause fuck that movie killed me. but please dont read if you are sensitive to CVD or Cancer because its really heavy)Words: 1165
=======I have accepted it. I've accepted death. I knew it would be coming one day, but not so soon...
I spent months in this bed, in this white room. I have never wanted to leave a place as bad as the hospital I was in...I couldn't remember much. All I remember is feeling dizzy and falling. I could feel blood rushing out of my head as I heard my name being pleaded by one voice only. My eyes felt heavy and suddenly I blacked out. I didn't dream. I didn't think. Just pure black. It was as if I was asleep, but I couldn't feel anything.
Waking up, with bright white lights hitting my face and feeling someone squeeze my hand. I was confused. I was paranoid. For a second I thought I had truly died, but I didn't. My eyes just needed to adjust to my surroundings as I had only seen black for hours. My head hurt, it was pounding. I tried to sit up but winced. "Shh, shh.." A voice calmed me as their thumb stroked my hand. They softly placed my head back onto the pillow as they tucked me in. "You'll be okay,"
I look up at the person's figure. It seemed familiar but I was too tired and drowsy to think. I slowly lifted my hand to their cheek. He sighed. I gave him a weak smile as they put their hand on top of the mine's which was holding their cheek. I felt something soft fall onto the gown they had put on me. It felt like teardrops. Soft whimpers escaped their lips. I smiled sadly, knowing they were crying. "It's okay," I barely got out a whisper. I was weak. I felt weak. "Don't cry please," I said softly. I only saw them nodding.
My vision started to get a little clearer as I recognized the person standing in front of me. "Peter?" My voice was a little louder now. His head shot up. "Y-Yeah. It's me," I heard a smile in the tone of his voice. I smiled widely back, before dosing off again. My eyes closed slowly as I fell back to sleep.
Since then, I've been stuck in here for months. The only thing making me happy were the Avengers, but especially Peter. He visited me every hour of the day he could. He kept apologizing to me, saying this was his fault though it wasn't. Ever since I had the accident, my brain didn't function as well as it did before. I couldn't remember more recent things but I did remember things that happened in the past. After spending a few days in the hospital, I thought I was ready to go. Like they had told me so before, but I had also gotten very sick that same week. I had been diagnosed with CVD. It was a heart disease that could kill me at any moment.
Hearing the cries of my father hurt me, but hearing the love of my life cry every single day because I was in here hurt me the most. I wanted to comfort him, but couldn't. At first I was scared of dying. I didn't want to die. But eventually, I accepted it. It's just another part of life. I had to accept it. I was forced too.
One day, Peter came in. He had bags under his eyes and he looked pale. His body was a bit skinnier than before. "Peter-" My voice reached out to him. He smiled sadly at me. "I have to tell you something..." He said slowly. I looked up at him scared. Peter coughed loudly before he weakly kneeled onto the ground to stabilize himself. "Pete-" I whispered out. "You're scaring me," I was worried for him. Did he not eat? Was he not sleeping? Peter started coughing heavily. "Peter, Are you alright?" I asked him again.
He shook his head. "I- uhh-..." Peter stuttered out. "I have Leukemia," He said, barely whispering. It was so soft, I could barely understand. But I did hear it and I was shocked. Surprisingly, I kept calm. Peter started to cry softly as he fell to the ground. "Pete?" I reached out to him. He grabbed my hand. I pulled him into my bed with all the strength that was left in my body. He layed down next to me.
Tears fell from his face as he kissed me softly. I kissed him back, savoring what would be our last kiss we ever shared. "Y/N," He whimpered. "I- I don't want to go," He sobbed out as he seeked comfort. "Shh, shh," I calmed him. My eyes were already brimming with tears as I looked at Peter's state. "You'll be okay..." I whispered to him as I stroked his cheek. "I promise, just hold on for me love," I started softly sobbing, but not too loud.
I started playing with his hair as a bit of it was caught between my fingers. I let it fall down onto the ground, knowing fully it was the chemo that did this to him. Peter started breathing heavily. My hand went back to his face to calm him down. I smiled with tears falling down my cheek. My nose stuffy and my throat dry. Peter looked at me as he wiped away some of the tears. "How long have you known?" I asked him gently. "Two/Three weeks," He replied. "Peter, why'd you come down here every day?" I asked him, curious but worried.
"Because if it were my or your last day, I would want to spend the whole day with you. Even if we were to pretend we were fine. If I'm with you I'm happy," He smiled sadly as he held my hand now. I kissed his lips again softly.
"If you're gone, I'm coming with you," I said to him. He looked at me and let out a deep breath. "I know I'm not going to make it, Peter," I said. I had no hope left. The only thing keeping me alive was Peter who was right here with me. "I know I'm not either, but you make me fight it," He said as he looked deeply into my eyes. "I always wanted to go home. Leave this place..." I speak. "But now I realize, you're my home," I let out a shaky breath.
"I love you," I whisper to him softly. "I love you too," He replies and kisses me once more before laying next to on his back. Holding my hand. I cuddle up against him. "Is this it?" I ask him. "I think so, yeah," He whispered. "Goodnight," I say to him.
"Goodnight"
and then we never woke up again...
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Peter Parker Imagines
FanfictionJust some Peter Parker imagines :) All Marvel characters and the distinctive likeness(es) thereof are Trademarks & Copyright © 1941-2018 Marvel Characters, Inc. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.