𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐬𝐤𝐲 ☾︎ binwoo

C H P - (Say The Name) 17

"All I wanted to say... was that I love you."

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Dongmin froze. His eyes turned blank and the ends of his lips turned downwards, as if he was utterly confused, forced to take in something he wasn't ready to, or at least didn't want to hear. His smile fell completely. "Bin," he uttered, tilting his head, "what... what the hell? You can't just..." He pushed himself away from his friend, of who was giving him a wry smile. He sat up, looking down at the other with eyes that could only be described as cold and distant. "You can't just joke about shit like that!"

"Who says I'm joking?" Moonbin tried to cover up his disappointment with a playful grin, but the way his eyes put on display what his heart was feeling was unmistakable. What did he expect, anyway? He knew this was going to happen. He knew Dongmin wasn't going to accept his feelings. He was prepared for this, so why... why was he still so upset? Why did it feel as if his heart was completely ripping at the seams?

"Huh?!" Dongmin exclaimed. His dark eyes widened exponentially, looking down at his buddy since childhood in utter surprise. He was kidding, wasn't he? He had to of been, right? He took a deep breath. He hoped Moonbin didn't see how he swallowed thickly. "Moonbin..." Dongmin sighed, pursing his lips. He glanced off to the side. He set his hands behind him as to lean back and seem somewhat calm and collected. He inhaled deeply and turned back to his friend. "You know I don't like you like that." 

"I know." The pinkette masked the disappointment with his silly smirk. 

"You know? Then why--"

"Because," Moonbin chuckled, "I have a plan." He moved from off his elbow and lied back down in the damp grass of nighttime. He used his arms as a pillow, eyes focusing their attention back on the stars: the stars that seemed now to be brighter, and even perhaps accepting. "By the way," his head fell to the side, watching Dongmin teasingly, "make sure you wake up on time tomorrow. We have somewhere we need to go."

"A-and if I... say I have to head home tomorrow?" the dark haired male asked quietly.

"Well, I would say back to you that I was there when you talked to your mother about spending the first month of summer at my house."

The conversation ceased after Moonbin's remark. Both of their mouths had sown shut; each were completely silent with the exception of the sound of their breathing and an occasional yawn.

Time passed by fairly quickly. They both wished they could say something to the other, but no matter how much they tried, they couldn't get their mouths to move or their lips to form the words they wanted to say.

Occasionally, one would see a shooting star. It was uncommon to see so many in just one night alone, the two of them knew that; they felt lucky to be able to see as much as they had. However, despite sitting only a few inches apart, it felt as if they weren't seeing the stars together. Sure, their bodies were close, but their minds and hearts were in their own little places. They weren't in sync as they always were; the connection in their hearts was only held together by a single thread, that thread being the words Moonbin spoke after what felt to be hours upon hours of only the sound of the tree leaves brushing against each other in the midnight wind: "We should head inside. It's getting cold, and I can see you shaking."

The other nodded. "Yeah..."

Both stood up, still without a word. It did not matter how much they wished to say something to each other, even just one word. The both of them knew that right now, as they headed into the warm comforts of home, huddled in their jackets and hoodies, that they needed time to think, maybe even time to convince themselves that Moonbin's confession hadn't really happened, that it was all a ruse, or even just a figment of their imagination. 

Dongmin slipped out of his shoes at the door, while the younger shrugged off his coat. They exchanged places soon after, Moonbin removing his slippers and the dark-haired male taking off his hoodie and placing it on the couch. 

"Bin, I'm gonna head to bed. I promise not to take up all of the bed." The older laughed awkwardly. "Uhm, yeah, so goodnight. I'll see you in the morning... or... or when you come to bed, I guess?" He nervously scratched at the back of his neck, barely meeting the other's sad yet amused eyes. 

"Alright, I'll be up there in a second. I just need to do something real quick."

Dongmin nodded. He immediately turned around and headed up the stairs.

The moment Moonbin's friend was gone, he let his happy smile fade completely. He walked to the kitchen, just in case the older decided to peek down the steps from upstairs. He sat at one of the tall stools, heart finally splitting. He used his palm to hold his head up on the counter, closing his eyes as pain seemed to envelop his body completely. "Fuck..." 

Why does it have to hurt so much?

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By the time Moonbin had finally calmed himself down, Dongmin was already curled up in a blanket, sound asleep. His lips were parted slightly, soft skin glowing in the light of the lamp. His hair was fluffy, as it always was. The black blanket was pulled all the way up to the male's shoulders, hugging his neck, leaving him with a sense of security. 

The younger's lips twitched upwards, puffy eyes shining with fondness, even though they burned. He wondered how long he had actually spent downstairs. 

He was careful to make no noise as he tiptoed over to his desk, feeling thankful that his lamp was already on. Surely the awful click sound of the switch would have woken his friend up from his sleep. The older was always a light sleeper, after all. 

The pinkette quietly sat down in the cushioned chair, pulling a mechanical pencil from the handmade cup at the corner of the desk; Sanha had made it for him as a birthday present one year. Moonbin slowly slid a blank sheet of paper from out of the bottom drawer, setting it down on the top of the working space just as slowly. He labeled the paper at the top and made eight bullet points.

By the time this night was over, he would only have thirteen days left. If everything went well, he would have five days to simply spend with the love of his life, the beautiful boy sleeping in his bed, curled up in Moonbin's favorite blanket. That left eight days for him to execute his plan. He spared the sleeping male a loving glance before turning to the blank paper in front of him. He hovered the pencil beside the first bullet point. "Think Bin, you idiot..."

And when he finally finished, he had a pretty decent list formed:

• Flower Garden

• Trampoline Park

• Swimming

• Mall

• Dog Café

• Ice Rink

• Amusement Park

• Movies at Home

He sighed in relief. These weren't going to be just eight normal dates. No, they were going to be special. Not only because each day would be filled with hours upon hours of him allowing more and more of his being to fall in love with Dongmin, but because each of these things had a significant purpose; each meant something. 

Moonbin scanned the list, eyes landing on the title at the very top.

'Plan to Make My Moon and Stars Love Me As I Love Him'

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yaayy, new chapter out! If you didn't see my announcement, I plan on updating every Sunday, maybe more. Just rest assured that I will always have a chapter ready for you guys every Sunday, at least until I finish the story :)

-Author 🖤