Midnight Falls

Chapter Thirty One

Chapter Thirty One

Secrets Pt. 2

Anna

I rest my chin on my knee and watch the view that laid in front of us. The trees are looming tall in front of us like citadels of wood. Almost as if they are guarding nature. Stars freckled the midnight sky like luminous petals of a silvery white color. I'm in complete awe as my eyes scan the oak-brown paradise. Taking a deep breath, I enjoy the earthy, pulpy smell of the woods.

"Why do you get nightmares?" Luke asks suddenly. "If you don't mind me asking."

"No, it's fine. My sister's Memorial Day is in two days and I always have nightmares a week before it," I simply reply.

"Wait...your twin sister? Anastasia, right? She passed away when she was ten," he guesses.

I nod and frown. "Yeah, how did you know?"

To be honest, I wasn't expecting anybody to remember Ana. Everyone just seemed to forget all about her a year later after she passed away.

"Mom told us," he replies. "And you had an exact copy of you walking next to you until we were in fifth grade, how the hell wouldn't I know?"

"I wasn't expecting that," I mumble.

"Why's that?" He frowns.

"Everybody kinda just forgot Ana after she died," I shrug, my thumb going to her bracelet.

"That's fucked up."

"It's not like I was expecting anyone to remember her," I say in a small voice.

Silence. "What are the nightmares usually about?" Luke speaks up.

"You're pulling a me now?" I ask him, grinning and he shrugs.

"They're just about me drowning; Ana died that way and I guess it has been affecting me ever since," I answer.

"That sucks," he comments.

"A lot," I nod. "But she is in a much better place now and she died saving me. It's really amazing how she was a hero." I smile.

"Is that how you got your claustrophobia?" He asks.

"Yeah, and my panic disorder," I tell him and he raises an eyebrow.

There's no point in hiding it now. I trust Luke and that's all the matters.

"My sister saved me from drowning that day and after she died, it just messed up everything for me. I always freak out whenever I'm in small places and I start panicking and breathing heavily. It's kind of part anxiety and part phobia, but I got used to it eventually," I tell him.

I like to think that my anxiety is due to me almost drowning that day when the truth is that a big part of it is because of the fact that Seth made me believe that I was never enough. It's probably the stupidest thing ever to let a guy determine my worth, but I was fifteen and he chose my best friend over me. If that's not ego-chattering enough, then I don't know what is.

Still, admitting that a guy managed to corrupt my confidence in myself is one of the most humiliating things in life and I'm not about to let myself be convinced by that fact. Seth has absolutely nothing to do with who I am today, that's how the story is.

"You know it's not your fault, right?"

I swallow the lump growing in my throat and nod. "I used to believe so, but I managed to convince myself otherwise," I say. "My family thinks that it's my fault, others just thought 'why would we care when she has a twin sister?'." I do air-quotes.