JJBA ONESHOTS

(...)In which Giorno has three biological fathers

Description-

Giorno goes for a DNA test and everyone is very surprised.

(Crack, just crack)

Also some Dio x Pucci

---

When Giorno stands up tall with his hair forming a crown of gold and shining like a spring buttercup and declares Bruno a good person-it feels like a dream. But it wasn't a dream. Not at all. Because if it was a dream than he would have been lying cold and dead on the cobblestones of Venice instead of the cobblestones of Rome.

Later, when Giorno finally tells Mista and Trish the full story, it's a little taste of chaos. But they don't hold it against him, no matter how much he holds it against himself. Later, Trish asks how he knew Bruno was a good person.

Giorno purses his lips and thinks for a bit. "I could smell it."

Trish raises an eyebrow. "What? Giorno I know you love being cryptic, but that's a bit much."

It takes a moment more, for Giorno to find the right words. The right way to explain what he meant: the smell of fresh baked pastries and spring flowers that clung to the man like mist-the absence of drugs and blood. And finally-the confirmation that came when Bruno's sapphire eyes had widened and body went rigid in the face of that arm strained purple and red.

"I'm good at reading people." Giorno paused, thinking. "I've seen so many who are rotten to their very core." Another pause: unsure of how to phrase the next bit. "At some point I grew able to make the distinction between them as easy as you can learn to look at the sun and tell the time."

Trish nodded not quite understanding; but accepting it none the less.

-

The first call Polnareff sends is sudden. Jotaro, for all his supposed calm, cannot help the widening of his eyes or the wide grin that takes over his face like the sun fills the horizon, when he hears the familiar sound of Polnareff's voice from across the line.

They catch up, a bit, and as it be-the subject turns to Polnareff's current situation.

And finally: "Wait, but if my boss...Giorno...is Dio's son...uh. Does that mean he's a vampire?"

Jotaro's eyebrow twitches, then curves farther down into an even deeper scowl than he held before. "I don't fucking know. I'm a marine biologist. Not a fucking vampire expert."

"Then who is?"

"I don't know, some foundation workers or shit?"

-

It's almost scary to watch; how Giorno deals with those who oppose him. The Speedwagon employees are waiting next door, but Giorno is busy determining the fate of the wicked.

The fate of those souls is nothing like Diavolo's fate; something so bone-shatteringly horrible that not even Mista-a hardened gangster-can think of it without feeling a creeping sense of nausea mixed in with the borderline cruel satisfaction. But that isn't to say that the fate of those who oppose Giorno's ideals and stand in his way is kind.

Sometimes Fugo will go; Purple Haze devouring every particle of the offender's body until they're little more than a patch of goo on the ground. Sometimes they are assassinated; their last moments consisting off the bitter realization that they will quietly die in some back ally where the world will never even notice they're gone. Sometimes, Giorno will deal with them personally; they will leave the world with their mind so distraught death may be a better option than the force of Giorno's words.