On Our Own

Chapter 35

I woke up to a girl staring at me. I almost screamed but then realized it was Lucy.

"What are you doing?" I whispered to her so Ethan would not wake up.

"Can I talk to you?" she asked, ignoring my question.

"How did you get in here?" I asked. "Ethan always locks the door."

"I have a key, don't worry though I only have it for emergencies."

"Is this an emergency?"

"Can I talk to you?" she asked, ignoring my question yet again.

Without answering, I looked over and glanced at Ethan, who was knocked out. His dark brown hair was all tousled and his head was resting on my shoulder with his arm across my waist.

"Later, if I move he'll wake up," I whispered back.

She stared up at me. "You really care for him, don't you?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't I?"

"I don't know the last girl he was with was so fake and she was definitely using him, but you're not like that," she said more as an observation than a response.

"If he is leaving," she said sadly. "Then I'm glad he has someone like you."

"Thank you, that's very sweet."

"Can we still talk later?" she asked.

"Yeah," I said.

She nodded and rushed out of the room and I heard the door lock again.

I wondered if Ethan knew how much Lucy cared about him. A thought crossed my mind, I wonder if I knew how much Jess cared about me. I sighed it shouldn't be this hard to talk to her, why was I so emotionally charged about saying goodbye temporarily. It's not like I'd never see her again. I would see her at school, I could still come over if I wanted so what was so upsetting about it?

I looked over at Ethan who was still fast asleep and smiled. I was so lucky, how did I manage to fall in love with someone so amazing. Finally, as I softly ran my fingers through Ethan's hair, it all fell in place, I was saying goodbye to the first person who had ever loved me.

Jess has been the first person to hold me and care for me unconditionally even when I was upset and angry. She had done so much for me and I was just pushing her away when losing me was just as hard on her as it was for me to leave her. I felt a tear roll down my cheek, she was the first real family I had ever had.

With her by my side I went through the hardest years of my life. Through fights and fun she had never let me go, and now she was forced to and I was being a jerk. Jess had held my hand as I cried, never asking me more than I wanted to share. She pushed me to be the best version of myself I could be, never being disappointed when I messed up. She took care of all my needs before anyone else. How could I even say goodbye to someone who I loved so much?

She got the harder end of the deal anyway. Never had I considered her pain, the trouble I had caused. Not only had she taken care of me my whole life, but she let go of me so I could find love in Ethan. She has to accept that I needed to find my own love to feel again. And now that I had finally made peace with my life and found happiness, the one thing Jess had wanted for me more than anything, I was leaving her behind.

These thoughts clouded my mind as Ethan and I got up and got ready. When I finally explained my thoughts and how I needed to say goodbye to Jess before I could leave, even if it was temporary, he nodded along and I could tell something was bothering him too. Perhaps he wanted to say goodbye to his family too.