Buried Secrets

Journal Of Emmerson Young

December 25th, 2002

Eight. Why is it, I turn eight on the same day that Santa Claus comes and Jesus was born?

I remember asking Mommy about it. She just shrugged and said, “You were just born today.”

But Daddy had something different to say on the subject. He stated; “God choose this day as your birthday because you reminded him of his own son, Jesus.”

Mommy and Daddy often yelled at each other about God. And especially tonight. After Mommy kissed me goodnight, and Daddy made me say a prayer, then went into the hallway and started fighting. Again.

“Why on Earth do you encourage Emmerson to believe in a God, when there is no such thing!?” Mommy stated loudly.

“Don't even Sarah! It's bad enough that you keep telling him that a fat, magical man comes into homes and leaves good children presents! I will not have it where Emmerson grows up to be a sinner, like his mother!”

I flinch at Daddy's words. A sinner? Is that I am to him?

“Justin!” Mommy yelled. “Emmerson is not a sinner! Don't ever say he is! It's one thing to call me one, but never Emmerson! He is a good kid! And as far as me telling him about Santa Claus, every child in the world has heard of and believes in Santa! Do you want Emmerson to grow up, being bullied in school because he has never heard of Santa!? It's bad enough that he's bullied by his own father about God, do not make it worse!”

“Excuse me!?” Daddy shouted. I can hear him hit Mommy, and Mommy grabbing the wall. “Enough Sarah! Emmerson will be a sinner thanks to you! I will not be a part of this! I should have left a long time ago...but I stayed because I thought God was still in your heart. You let heathens, liars, and sinners get the best of you!”

I feel tears prick at my eyes. Daddy was leaving, and it was my entire fault.

“You know Emmerson will blame himself if you leave now.” Mommy stated coldly.

“Let him.” Daddy said harshly, slamming a door shut. “After all, his whore of a mother can tell him what happened.”

Another door slammed shut, and silence. I can faintly hear the car starting up then driving away. Daddy left and it was my entire fault. I can hear Mommy crying, and now my own tears have started falling.

No one knows how I feel....