Always.

Twenty.

And Castle, right there beside me the whole way, and then nothing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"She's waking up! Get a nurse!" I heard a familiar voice yell as I slowly regained consciousness. I fluttered my eyes open, and smiled as I saw Castle standing over me.

"Hey." I said, sounding very weak.

"Hey, you!" Castle said. "You were out for awhile."

"How long?" I asked, trying to sit up.

"Uhm, about a day and a few hours." He replied, having me stay lying down.

"Wow." Was all I could manage to get out. Memories of the days before came flooding back all of a sudden, and tears started welling up in my eyes. I hated feeling so weak, but, to be honest, that was what I was.

"Hey, babe. It's okay. Josh is behind bars now." He said, sitting down on the edge of my bed. "He can't hurt you anymore."

I made sure no one else was in the room. "I, I know. It's just..."

"Kate, what is it? You can tell me anything."

"I know. I just don't know if I'm ready yet."

"It's okay, I won't rush you." Suddenly, the boys came walking in, bearing notepads and pencils. "Except, they might have to."

I sighed when I saw them, and realized their intentions.

"Uhm, we hate to pressure you, Beckett, but we need to get this stuff while it's still fresh."

I groaned, but agreed. I know the drill. "Ok, well, I had just gotten up and walked into the kitchen when I was knocked out and taken. Next thing I remember is being in that dark room with Castle."

I talked a little more, and then allowed them to catch up with their note-taking. "Ok, what else?"

"Well, after he took me into that other room..." I got choked up, and looked away. I didn't want them to see me like this.

"Beckett, it's okay. Take your time. We could come back later if you want?" Ryan was going easy on me.

"No, it's okay." I calmed down for a minute, and then started again. "Uhm, well, he pulled over a rolling table, with a tray on it."

"What was on the tray?"

"The scalpel you saw. As well as other similar tools."

"Ok." They continued writing.

"He grabbed the scalpel, and was cutting my arms, and legs."

Again, I talked, describing everything. I tried to not go into too much detail, for fear of breaking down.

"Ok, anything else?"

"Well, right before you guys walked in..." I suddenly stopped, and they looked up at me for the first time. I squeezed Castle's hand.

"He, he..." I was stuttering. I couldn't get it out. Not now, and I didn't know when I would be ready to talk about it. I let the tears fall, mainly because I couldn't hold them back anymore.

"Hey, it's okay." The boys put away their notepads. "Get some rest, Beckett. We'll come see you tomorrow. But just to visit, okay?" They asked, smiling. But they were sad smiles. They weren't happy to see me in pain.

I just nodded, burying my head in Castle's chest. I heard them leave, and the door close. I looked up at Castle.

"Hey, don't cry. Everything's going to be okay." He said, smiling at me, and wiping the tears off my cheeks. I smiled back.

"I wish that was true." I was sad to say that I knew we hadn't seen the last of Josh. Somehow, I knew he would come back.