Morning Star

Rising from the ashes

An insatiable need for retribution and vengeance becomes a poison that will taint your life and destroy your soul.

I should have know that. Valentine should have known that.

He should have known that so then later we wouldn't be going through all this.

The world breaks everyone, and afterwards some are strong at the broken places.

That's what we will all feel once we put this behind us which won't be anytime soon.

But for me, in order to move forward I have to go back to the beginning. I have to rethink everything and see where we all went wrong.

There are decisions that will change your life, no matter how small.

But for those other people, they can die for what they believe in but I'll live for mine.

Torture, madness, and suffering. There are things out there worse than death. I can see why they did what they did. I can see why my father decided to change. I don't blame him.

I blame myself.

Although I have no reason to.

*********************************

I stand and look up into the sky. I see a lonely star. A star bright and big on the morning sky. I know who it is.

It's my father and Jordan.

Both of their souls on that one little star.

A star that will never burn out and will show for the rest of time.

It's both of them, and it'll keep showing.

Forever and always.

******************************************

"I herby declare Sean Brewer head of the Seattle institute."

No one said anything.

There's no need to.

It's been three months since my dad died.

Three months of pain and agony.

Alexia squeezed my hand. I returned it. Once the clave left I put on my gear. I sat on my bed for a while. It was getting dark. The moons shadow was casting over me. I grabbed my sword and headed out.

In Idris once again the memories still haunt me. I moved it to the back of my mind.

So much has changed in the last year. I left a whole life behind just to lose everything when I grasped the new one. But it also brought me amazing things.

I kept walking until I reached the cliff. I stood on the edge and looked out.

I won't turn out like Valentine. I know I won't. I can't imagine myself doing what he did. But I can see why he did it. I wonder how it must of felt like to have all that power. To know that you could take over at whatever time you wanted. To threat people and see them cower because they fear you. To feel like you got the world in your hands.

I have things I never imagined I would have. The most beautiful girl agreed to be mine forever. That's the only thing that's keeping me sane right now. The only thing that will keep me sane always.

I have a group of family who promises to protect the mundane world of evil. To train young inexperienced Shadowhunters to become like us.

I have a sister who is using he abilities for good and is helping others. We have a warlock who enlightens us with his ancient knowledge.

Little by little everything is getting back together.

I still have flashbacks from the war and it takes me time to recover from them. I hold on to whatever I have and wait for them to be over. Alexia gets migraines so bad that she screams in pain. Mostly because she was kicked in the head over and over and also the demon that was once inside her.

We will all have scars from that but we will all keep on going. We hold on to each other and wait fearing that another Valentine might want to appear. But we know that the angel won't make us go through that again. We all cherish what we have know knowing it can be taken away from us.