7 Stages of Grief

2nd stage of Grief: Pain & Guilt

“Kaneki” I call out to the white haired boy sitting quietly in front of me for the nth time.

“Hmm?” He finally blessed me a glance. I could see his eyes swollen from the lack of sleep, his teeth biting lightly the flesh of his thumb as If he was worried of something. “You’ve been spacing a lot these days, is there something wrong?” I wrapped my arms around him softly, cradling him in my arms like a baby. He placed his head on my chest.

“Don’t worry, I’m fine as long as you’re here.” A line that brought a smile to my worried face.

“If you say so..” I murmured, burying him deeper into our embrace, reassuring him that I will always be here.

--

“Kaneki?” I call out to him, in the middle of our tight hug. We haven’t seen each other for days because he said he was attending some ‘business’. A business that he never mentioned nor explained to me what it actually was, but I convinced myself that there was a reason why he never said it. I didn’t want to ruin our sweet moment but something stained in his shirt was bothering me.

“Why is there blood on your shirt?” I watch the color fade in his face with my question. “I…uh..” I hear him stutter, unsure what to say next. I didn’t like where this conversation was heading.

“Did something happen that I didn’t know?” I asked. Although I had not even the slightest clue what happened but seeing that red stain on his shirt worried me, seeing he couldn’t say the reason worried me more.

“No, no! I just…” He pauses to think. “..Just in our way back, my shirt got stuck on a nail. I tried to take it out but I ended up scratching myself in the process.” He scratches his head right after. I give him a look of disbelief. “Are you sure you’re telling the truth?” I ask one last time. Although I know that whatever I’ll say, he’ll never tell me the real reason. “Yes, Trust me. It’s just a little scratch, don’t worry.” And with that, he pulls me back in our tight hug and not letting me say another word.

--

“Kaneki?” I call out to him as we were lying down on the couch in each other’s embrace.

I waited for a response but I never got one. “Kaneki, are you..” I started, feeling a bit weird asking this question.

“Are you…smelling me?” There, I finally asked.

Kaneki immediately rose his body upward, removing his face buried deep on my neck where his nose leeched on the scent of my perfume..or so I thought that was what he was sniffing. “I-it’s just, I really like the smell of your perfume!” I could see Kaneki tense up as he sits up on the couch. I giggle at his remark, “You’re really strange sometimes, Kaneki.” He looks at me wide eyed with what I said.

“But I don’t mind.”

The expression on his face softens, his mouth finally cracks a smile.

“I love you.” He whispers before he leans on me and connected our lips for a sweet kiss.

--

“K-ka..” my mouth refused to call out the name of who I think was standing before me.

I watched as a guy with bleached hair squatting down on the floor devours the remains of the flesh of what seemed to be a ghoul. The black shirt and white shorts that I was sure I’ve seen someone very dear to me wore most of the time. Even the figure of this man’s body, it reminded me a lot of him.

The man didn’t seem to hear my voice, so I took it as a cue to come closer. “Kane..” I raised my voice louder, he was still too busy devouring his prey.