i'm just a kid : markbeom, markjae, 2jae [editing]

4.

march 23, 2020; 4:15pm

"hey, youngjae. it's mark.
i know that i messed up. i know what i did was wrong. there's no amount of times i could apologize. i've been thinking about us a lot lately. today, i was thinking about the time we met. it hurts a lot. i see you with yugyeom and bambam and i see how happy you are around them. i remember when i was the one who made you that happy. i often wonder "do i still have a chance?". but it's silly of me to think such a thing, isn't it? i never got to apologize for what i did to you. it's been a year without you and i thought i was over you, but god was i wrong. i saw your smile again for the first time since i left zara high, and i never realized how badly i messed up until that very moment. i'm sorry for everything, jaejae. i'm sorry for always forgetting your birthday. i'm sorry for always forgetting our anniversary. i'm sorry for never saying "i love you" enough. i'm sorry i never claimed you. most important of all, i'm sorry for not telling you about jackson. i fucked up big time. last thing, fuck you, youngjae. fuck you for making me fall in love with you! i hate you because i love you. i will never forgive myself for what i did. i'm sorry, youngjae. this is the last time i'll be contacting you at all unless you choose to contact me first. i love you, choi youngjae.
- mark tuan."

youngjae felt a lump forming in his throat. he hadn't thought about their relationship since they broke up but it was all finally hitting him. the memories, the emotions, everything. "no, choi youngjae. don't cry. he hurt you."