day forty

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yaki and i went to the pool today.
we've been friends for a while.
to be honest,
i feel more safe with him.
i don't feel vile.
i told him about my plans,
leaving out the one about killing myself of course,
about my dream to please you with my surprise.
you'll see me on the roof
clinging onto the rails.
i'd say "bye kacchan"
and jump
and maybe
i'd hear your wails.

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