Spiderson and the trip

The one with an unlikely machmaker

Did any of you ask for a stony pining fic? No you did not, yet here I am writing it anyway. 

I just couldn’t get the idea out of my head. So here you go

Not much backstory to this, just Tony adopted Peter and Tony and Steve are idiots, Tony decidedly more so.

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"Steve is like the sun" the sentence was said wistfully between the repeated and for some odd reason soothing clangs of the lab. Peter sighed and prayed for strength.

"I'm sure he is." he grunts not lookin up from his formula, trying to work out how best to make his web conductive.  It'd probably be easier when Shuri sends him the Vibranium she promised.

"I mean, his hair looks golden enough, he's a morning person, his eyes look like the sky so he obviously has some reverse sky and sun art thing going"

"Uh huh"

"Not to mention he's also ridiculously hot." The engineer sighs.

Peter scowls at the mistake he found in the formula and moves his hand to fix the hologram.

"First off, Don't go in that direction dad, I'm not gonna listen to how hot he is. ew.

Secondly,  weren’t you supposed to be a playboy? I'm pretty sure you have lines better than that."  he types in and pushes the formula through for simulation. 

"Sure I do, but they don't really mean anything-" Tony shrugged and then smirked,

"And besides, I thought you didn’t want to hear all the R18 rated one liners I have for him. "

Peter makes a face at his father. 

"You know what's not gonna help your situation with Steve? Talking to me about it. Has it ever crossed your mind, genius that it is, to actually talk to him about it?"

Tony scoffed as he endevoured to make a plate inhumanly straight (cough unlike himself cough)

"Absolutely not. He and I got off on such a rocky start it's a miracle we're even friends, I'm not ruining that for something like feelings"

"You do realize acting like your emotionless public image in the tower fools absolutely no one right? "

"Leave me alone, I love my fake persona" he doesn’t.  Peter knows he doesn’t but it was a joke and he shruggs, letting it drop

"Anyway, pretty sure heard Uncle Clint call Steve Captain Dad and you Ironmom the other day. "

"Wha- excuse - Mom??!! Why am I mom? How am I conceivabley mom? I'm vodka aunt, or at the very least weird uncle since I quit drinking" Tony looked high key faux offended.

"Nah, you're really caring, and everyone comes to you with problems to get them solved, ergo team mom."

Tony scoffed, then scoffed again, and scrunched up his face like he sucked on a particularly thick lemon.

"Everyone doesn’t come to me with problems kid, I give problems, I barely solve my own."

"Didn’t uncle Clint ask you what to wear to a gala last week?"

"That's cause I'm used to these things"

"Aunt Natasha came to you for the ballet thing."

"Well, yeah, I have connections?  It isn't really hard to hook her up with a studio."

"Uncle Thor comes to you for dating advice. "

"Fore some reason, even though I'm single."

"Who's fault do you think that is?" was mumbled and was promptly ignored